I’m tired of my relationship… I think

Dear TRP

imagesWhat do you do when you are so tired of a relationship or situation that you are in, but you care for the person and you just know that if you part from that person they are going to get involved with the wrong person and just get hurt and will be so depressed.  Don’t get me wrong I love this person dearly, I just hate all of the mistrust and finger pointing, especially when I am innocent. I am a really friendly and out going person. I belong to organizations where there are a lot of attractive people and some are flirtatious, but that does not mean that I’m given in to the hit or whatever.

I believe if I was sneakin’ and creepin’ nothing would be said or thought of it, but I am not. I believe when I am blessed with some one whom I am happy with…I don’t try to mess that up. I just don’t want him to get hurt and come running back to me after I told him we can just work things out.

My thoughts…

First, you need to clarify what you’re REALLY tired of.  Is it the relationship or being falsely accused? They are two totally different things.  Many times, you may not like a couple of minor things in a relationship and because you’re frustrated about not getting any resolution on those things, you’ll just say you’re tired of the relationship as a whole.  If you’re really tired of the relationship then why did you just tell him you can work things out?  To gain clarity, ask yourself, if your partner stopped accusing you and began to trust you, would you be happy in your relationship?  If the answer is yes, then you have something to work on (depending on the extremes he goes through with his mistrust).  If not, then you may want to consider moving on.

If you decide to move on, DO NOT let the chance of him getting involved with the wrong person deter you from moving on, because what that is saying is, “I’m going to stay in an unhealthy relationship and be unhappy, just because I don’t want you to be involved with the wrong person.”  Does that make sense to you?  You’re not responsible for whom they choose to get involved with afterwards.  Even if you were, should you be unhappy so that he can be happy?


What makes you think he’ll get with the wrong type of person anyway? He could meet the person of his dreams and be completely happy.  He chose to be with you, and I assume you don’t think you’re the wrong person for him.  We all like to think we’re perfect, but how do you know he’s happy with you? He could find a more improved version of you that he has no problem trusting.  You don’t base an important decision like this one, on an unknown.  Sometimes when you make a decision you know that it’s the right decision until after it pays itself out.

Even if he picked the wrong types of partners in the past doesn’t mean he’ll continue to do so.  You’d be surprised how much a person stands on their own two feet when you’re no longer their crutch. Are you sure this is about him finding the wrong person or are YOU afraid about getting involved with the wrong person yourself?

If you decide to stay and flirting is your only issue then the two of you need to have a honest discussion about what each of you view as flirting and what’s acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship.  What’s “friendly and outgoing” to you may be completely out of line for him.  Yes there’s a difference between flirting and fucking, but not much.  Many times a case of being “friendly and outgoing” turns into “ooops my dick slipped.”  The two of you have to discuss and come up with boundaries and once you’ve established them, stick with them.

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.