Sweet and “low”

Dear Relationship Playbook

I am dating the sweetest guy. He is a wonderful boyfriend and an even better friend. He has all positive qualities BUT I just found out he has a very low sex drive. He feels that 3 times a month is enough. I have a fairly high libido and have always been more of a 3 times a week kinda girl. Can it work?

My thoughts…

low-sex-driveOf course it CAN work, the average married couple has sex 3 times per month. Although you’re not married, you’re in line with that average. What you need to ask yourself is, “How important is sex to you?” Something I learned a long time ago is the easiest way to get everything you want is to simply want less. You could learn to live with having 3x a month and be fine – if everything else in the relationship is going well.

But of course you’re not trying to hear that. You want to get your hump on 3x a week (which is still kinda low – but that’s just me).

One thing about women and sex is a lot of yall are spoiled. First everyone thinks they have platinum pussy, when the reality is most of yall just have silver – or even silver plated. Next, you think that just because you have a warm, wet, juicy, tight spot in between your legs that a man is supposed to always want to jump on you automatically while you do very little to initiate or keep the man interested in sex other than saying, “Eff me”. I understand why, because quite frankly, there are plenty of men who will do just that. Show them a hole and they’ll try to plug it. How does this relate to you?

Maybe it isn’t his sex drive, maybe he just doesn’t want to have sex with YOU more than 3x a month.

Gasp! Say it ain’t so. A man turning down pussy. Yes it happens. Generally speaking we don’t NEED all the affection, kind words, etc women prefer to stay wet, but we still need and would like something from you other than “eff me.” Your question is very vague, so I don’t know if you’re initiating sex, but if you aren’t, start – NOW!

“Take it.” Find out what turns him on (and btw if you don’t know, then that’s a problem in itself) and give him an overdose of it. You get him hard and when he’s hard, get your rodeo on. Walk around in whatever he likes to see in his fav color (butt naked is always my color of choice). While he’s watching TV, put your face in his lap and make sure his eyes are rolling int he back of his head and not focused on the TV. Role play and give him the sensation of “new” pussy when it’s the same old silver. The list of things you can do is as long as your imagination.

Beyond that, maybe it’s not you, and he could have other issues going on that’s keeping his drive low or maybe he really is just a 3x a month kinda guy. If he is, then it goes back to my original question, “How important is sex to you?” If it that’s important to you to lose out on everything else he offers because you’re not getting enough ass, then you have to make that decision and it’s your right to do so.

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.