The Single Mom 2-for-1 special

Dear TRP

“How does a single mom that’s struggling to make ends meet, who’s interested in someone, approach the subject of dating when he’ll basically have to pay for their dates because she can’t afford to?”

My thoughts…
She really doesn’t have to approach it, because it’s obvious for the most part.  I was in a relationship where that was the case and we never had a direct conversation about it –  I just paid attention to what she told me.  She worked two jobs.  No one WANTS to work two jobs, unless they have to, so that was a sign.  She mentioned that her children’s father doesn’t do what he should so she does all the providing for her kids.  At that point she didn’t need to say anything else and she never said, “Will, help a sistah out.” Now if she didn’t say any of those things, would I still have known? Probably.  If you spend enough time with someone you can generally get a sense if they’re struggling financially or not.

Even if she isn’t struggling financially and has no issues providing for her, her children, and paying for dates, there are some rules you still need to consider.

I think the biggest thing you have to learn to deal with is that when you start a relationship with a single parent is you’re getting a “2 for 1” special.  Not only are you in a relationship with the parent, you’re also in a relationship with the kids and they’re two completely different relationships.  If you want the best of the parent then you have to take time out with the kids separately away from the mother, and take time out for “family” activities.

Ask-SD-Black-Fam-450

You can’t get away with, I only want to have “adult time.”

If you’re out picking up something to eat and you ask the mother if they’d like anything, you have to remember the “2 for 1” special because she’ll say, “Sure, let me see if the kids want anything too”.  Even if they’re not with you two, be prepared to get the kids’ meals to go.  You have to ask yourself, do you just want to feed yourself at that moment, or do you want to feed everyone.

If the kids are up and you want some cuddle time on the couch, remember your “2 for 1” special. Sure she’ll get up under you and snuggle, but more often than not guess who’s up under her? That’s right, one of the babies.

And on a side note, make sure she has a lock on the bedroom door.  Your sex life will definitely appreciate it.

What are the other Single Mom Dating rules?

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.