It’s complicated

Dear Relationship Playbook

Hi I’m 19 years old and I’m in a very complicated relationship. My boyfriend and I have a really tough relationship. We both disrespect each other when we argue. He calls me a bitch at all times and he has no boundaries on how he talks to me . We are currently on a ”break” but i think he wants us to be on a break so he can talk to other women. I really want to let go of him and cut all contact between us but I don’t know where to start . Every time I try to leave him he uses reverse psychology to make me feel as if I’m in the wrong. I really want to let go of him but in a way I have a fear of being alone. He has no respect for anyone around him and I need help and advice on how to let go of a man like him I know in my heart that he is not the man for me .

My thoughts…

Let’s start with the easy part – removing him from your life.

The two of you already being on a “break,” so really no discussion needs to be had. First pack up everything you have that even remotely reminds you of him – his T-shirts you sleep in, gifts he bought you (unless they’re worth something on ebay), etc., and put them in a box, take the box to a dumpster (not the garbage can outside your house) and throw the box away.

No, you don’t need to call him over to pick the stuff up. No, you don’t need to mail or deliver the things to him. Throw them away. Do the same for your electronic connection to him. Delete all the emails, text messages, you have saved. Remove him from your FB, Instagram, and any other social networking site you have him on and put him on your blocked list for everything. Finally change your cell phone number. Completely disassociate yourself.

break-up-2

You don’t need to make him aware of any of this. Why? Because you’re already on a “break.”

I know it may seem a bit harsh and you may want to go the “well we can still be friends” route – but the reality is he isn’t your friend. Would you define a friend as someone that disrespects you, calls you all type of bitches, and whatever else, verbally and emotionally abuses you, and plays mind games with you?

If you do, then you have a whole lot more to deal with besides letting go of this relationship. But hopefully you don’t consider that type of person a friend of yours. Just because the two of you were humping doesn’t mean you should judge him on a different scale than you would any of your other friends. Let me take that back. BECAUSE the two of you were humping and in a relationship, he actually should be judged at a HIGHER STANDARD than you do everyone else, because of the intimacy of your relationship.

Either way. Save yourself and amputate the limb (him).

Afraid of being alone…

Ask yourself, how many things in your life did you once fear, but you don’t any longer? Being afraid of something is OK, but you’ve overcame fears all your life. I’ll give you some examples from when you were younger – the dark, separation anxiety from your parents, meeting friends at a new school, having sex for the first time, etc. How did you overcome those fears? You faced them, and what happened when you did?

You realized the reality wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it’d be.

Like most people, you’re not afraid of being alone – you’re afraid of STAYING alone. I don’t know you personally, so I can’t say what about you guys would find interest in, but I can say if you attracted your EX, then you can attract another man. I’m sure he’s not the only man that wants what you have to offer.

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.