Ditch The List

By Nick Campbell:

A real popular concept in dating culture is to have a checklist of sorts, something that lists everything a potential mate must have. Is this list negotiable at all for you? Being that people come in all shapes and sizes, I’m curious to how these lists work with single people. A good question to ask ourselves: Does every person fit into this “mold” that we think will satisfy us? Can we pass even our own stringent guidelines? Anyone who has a really strict checklist should consider if they measure up to those same exact guidelines. Typical things I’ve seen on people’s checklists include height, body type, financial status ETC. You have to ask yourself whether those things we measure people against actually hold any weight. Will they keep your relationship together or will it just make someone appear better on paper. Beware of those potential mates who look good on paper, but lack in substance.


What’s on your checklist? 


It’s pretty cliche to demand a certain height from a person, and it borders on offensive to demand financial status. There are exceptions to this of course. If you have children and dating a man with no job, or even worse no prospects for a job, and even more egregious no ambition , then those things can be red flags. They can have a negative impact on things that affect you and your children. They must eat and have a roof over their heads. But is being 6’3 really that critical? Something to ponder..


Why you should chuck your checklist..


#1 It can keep you single for a long time searching for Mr/Mrs Perfect. It goes without saying that everyone has flaws right? If a person only meets 5/6 on your checklist are you going to truly deny them a chance? Not a wise move in this already tough dating scene. It’s bad enough just trying to find someone that at a minimum has it together. Do you really have the time to fine comb thru the little mundane details of superficial things? More power to you if so! But let’s say you don’t have that much time. You’re pushing upper 30’s and those same issues that mattered at 21 might not matter as much at 30.

Till next time TRP! 


About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!