They say all is fair in love and war, but sometimes, when you’re trying to be the “nice guy” and you keep striking out, the world doesn’t seem even close to fair. Granted, you won’t learn how to be the ultimate lover from an advice column (that takes the insight and attentiveness that only what trial, error and attitude can cultivate), but the wise words of those who have been there can help kick-start your love life in the right direction.
There’s no simple formula for getting a girl to like you, but most people share some similar traits — compliments of human nature — that can help you navigate the waters of dating. From learning from her signals to knowing what’s right for both of you, you explore and finesse your Casanova side. It doesn’t take a private jet, diamonds and caviar to woo even the most high-class ladies. It generally takes women time to grow a full-fledged crush on you, making your third date the golden hour to show her what a great guy you are.
Genuine Charm Alarm
Many sleazy, self-proclaimed pick-up artists might have you believe there are certain magical lines or methods to get a girl to do what you want her to do, but if you’re after someone solely because you want them to “do things for you,” then you shouldn’t be trying to suit respectable women in the first place.
Behind whatever facade you may show the world, unless you’re a sociopath, there’s probably a charming sweet guy in there somewhere. Your third date is the perfect time to give your lovely new lady a taste of your sweet side. Don’t go overboard. Something like simple pink roses from FTD or your local flower shop or her favorite candy will show you care about her without being a show-off.
Faking it IS Making It
Most of us have had those moments where we look in awe at some handsome, confident and successful dude; the kind that makes life look like a breeze, and we wonder “where can I get some of that?” The trick is to understand that confidence is more of an action than a feeling. Almost everyone experiences the same spectrum of emotions in some form or another; confidence is one of them. Practice makes perfect.
Say you’re on your third date and you really want to brush your hand against the small of her back as she exits the restaurant, if you have even a moment of hesitation, then the moment is killed. It’s easier said than done.
If you want to kiss her, read her signals, if she’s facing you, laughing at you, and receptive to your touch, or touches you back, then she’s probably already excited about the prospect of kissing you. If it’s an awkward kiss, then turn it into a joke by exclaiming how nervous she makes you (because she’s so impressive) and confidently lean in again, she’ll giggle and be smitten.