By Nick Campbell:
One of the most common and most failed clichés in parenthood: The single mother decry of their children’s father. A lot of women still publicly boast about being a single mother. They indulge in a concept that raising a child alone without help somehow reflects power. I suppose the idea is that the act of single parenthood translates to a standing ovation. It’s understandable because being a single parent is not easy, in fact, it’s downright difficult. So whenever a parent is put in that situation, there seems to be a rush to marginalize it. It’s not uncommon for a parent to be angry about the other parents absence. Even feelings of embarrassment starts to set in. Some women question themselves saying “How did I not see this coming?”
However, times are changing…. And they are changing dramatically. Ironically, as men are stepping up to the plate in increased numbers, they still face a society who downplays them. When men are seen out with their kids, the typical “aww” and “oh that’s cute” gets floated around. People even go as far as to state “Oh, you’re hanging with Daddy today?” As if the father and his child hanging out at a park is just a fluke occurrence. With some women there seems to be an attitude that a man is not needed in a child’s life.
So how can women complain about the lack of fathers doing their part, only to treat the ones who are with suspicion? To question their motives and sincerity only serves as hypocrisy. Even worse is the disturbing trend of women who assume that a man cannot properly raise a child without a woman. This is interesting because we live in a society where many women are raising boys alone, in addition to that boasting how she’s doing it alone. So with that said, how is that any different than a man doing the same exact job? Especially in the black community where the old trends of absentee fathers are sharply declining. This old cliché is slowly losing it’s staying power. It’s for good reason too, because there are several reasons why you still need a father in that child’s life….
For little girls her Father sets the example of how’s she supposed to be treated…
As girls become adults it’s almost subliminal the standards set by her father. Many young girls who grow into women can recognize good treatment when they see it. Why? Because they were either treated like a princess as a child and will refuse anything less. However, the absence of one can have many negative impacts. Things like a lack of self esteem are common and can be easily traced to a lack of a strong father figure in the home. However, some argue that an absence of a mother can be equally damaging.
For little boys his Father is his first hero..
Ask any man who’s father has been present in his life and you’ll find one consistent theme: What his father taught him about being a man. The essence of manhood coming from the most powerful source imaginable: The man who made him. There is a lot to be said about the things our father teaches us. Some of it never really sinks in until we’re older. The lessons about being a gentleman, having character, and being a man of your word all come to mind. Yes, a woman can tell her son about those traits. But his father can actually show these traits by example.
Whether the opposite sex is that critical to a child’s future will always be up to debate. But you have to admit this the ” I don’t need a man” argument is losing it’s luster. Maybe it’s time to ditch that argument and start celebrating the men who are around, instead of focusing energy on the ones who aren’t.
Till next time TRP!