The “Pre-Date”

By Nick Campbell:

A little disclaimer: There is no crystal ball in dating. With that said, I’d like to think if we had something like this we could all avoid drama. Well, that might be true if we used a little intuition and rely less on our lust. Kind of similar to when men are told to use the big head and not the little head. Women on the other hand are hard wired a bit different. Unlike men who are motivated by visual, sexual, and physical conquest. One must realize that women driven by emotion could benefit from better “pre dating”. Example? Take the common cat call as evidence.

Most women with an inkling of common sense knows that when a guy is yelling “red” (referring to your red skirt) to get your attention, it’s quite obvious what his angle is right? If the interest was anything beyond physical, would that be the way he’d approach you? However, in the moment between lust and loneliness that goes over many women’s heads. That is until the guy starts dogging them out and you start having flashbacks about how he approached you.  The great thing about what happens before the date, is that you can get a glimpse of most people’s character. Their demeanor, their style, even their manners. There are many ways you can do some “pre-dating” checks. All one must do is simply pay attention…

One interesting trend in dating: Facebook checks..


This can be tricky territory. I know the urge to friend people is irresistible when you first meet someone. We’re all curious and down right nosy sometimes. But once you’re friends on Facebook what happens then? One thing to keep in mind if you decide to “friend” a date either before or after the first date: Don’t be a lurker! There is nothing worse than someone constantly lurking in the background. Watching what you post, but never commenting. Making no mention to what you commented on someone’s page, but sends you a text confronting you about it. There is nothing cute about that at all.

Are women really prone to the cat call? Or can a guy truly get in on swag alone? 


Personally, I think we should approach the pre-dating aspect similar to buying a car. I know it’s a bit odd and I’m not saying men are cars that have tires for you to kick. But when you buy a car don’t you inspect the engine, tires, and whatnot? Open the hood to check for leaks, push on the shocks to check them? So when men approach women and use “pick-up” lines or catcalls, how is that women are complaining about those same men turning out to be “lemons?” It’s one of those situations where the classic cliché comes into play: You get what you pay for… 


Case in point, it’s wise to use the period before you date to get the most information possible. Meaning the more informed you are about a person, the less likely you’ll be singing that sad story. Will you know enough to guarantee you won’t get played? Of course not! People can be slick and conniving and capable of scandalous behavior. I think we’re all aware of that, but use the “pre-date” time to make a good choice. Ironically, unlike new car purchases, dating does have a cooling off period!

Till next time!















About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!