Picking Your Battles….Wisely.

This will not be a long, drawn out message. But it will be VERY critical advice for those in relationships–all relationships, including parents, children, friends, and boos:  Pick your battles wisely.  pick your battles 4

Now, let’s be clear. Conflict is a natural part of life. We will have disagreements with our loved ones, but the fact remains we don’t always have to get our spirits vexed over every single disagreement. Nor should we view conflicts as a means of winning victories and practicing “one-up-manship.”  At the end of the day, if we don’t pick our battles we will find ourselves angry, bitter and lonely a great deal of time.

What are some battles worth fighting for?

1.) Health and safety:  This needs no explanation right here. If someone is putting the health and safety of you and your loved ones in danger there is absolutely no question that you should fight until the wheels come off the joint.

2.) Trust:  If the principle of the conflict is over your ability to trust or to be trusted, then you must stand your ground. Trust and commitment are two sides of the same coin and you can not have one without the other. In the long run, if the relationship is to last, you must choose trust as a battleground.

3.) Respect:  This particular “battleground” is tricky because some confuse the need for respect with power and control. If a person’s actions and words are mean-spirited and disrespectful then you must show them your line. Period. You don’t have to be nasty but you must be clear and strong.

pick your battles 3What are some battles NOT worth fighting for?

1.) Perfection:  If you are expecting Prince Charming or Kelly Rowland, you might want to temper your expectations. Many times we covet or pine away for something that is not based on reality. At the end of the day, the grass is not always greener on the other side….and, if it is, it may just have bullshit fertilizer.

2.) Power and Control:  Yeah, so….you like being right all of the time….and your shit don’t stink.  Congratulations and good luck with that.

3.) Emotions:  Yes, when all of us were two years old we threw tantrums, but if you are beyond the 6th grade we will need to give that a rest. How many times has a seemingly minor conflict turned into World War III?  So a conversation about the cap being left off the toothpaste turns into him never respecting you and your dreams? Cursing and carrying on…. No. Do not do this. When you have conflicts stay on task and on subject. Don’t let the emotions of certain situations take you too far down the road. You can’t win that battle.Crying-Babies-12At the end of the day, we all have choices to make about how to engage in conflict and how we will behave. Most importantly, before engaging in a conflict, ask yourself:  If my time on Earth ended right this second is this argument worth having. If the answer is no, then drop it because you have a life to enjoy. Go enjoy it.

About jocelyn.mills

Jocelyn Mills has written 19 post in this blog.

Jocelyn is living, breathing proof that a “can-do” approach to life provides a person with a rich and memorable experience. Teacher, school principal, entrepreneur, athlete, daughter and, most importantly, mother, are but a few hats she has worn over her life, with some hats being worn at the same time. Whenever possible she pursues multiple opportunities to motivate and uplift others.