Dear Relationship Playbook
If you start off a relationship as ONLY a sexual one (because at that point that’s what u wanted), why catch feelings if that’s what you and the other agreed upon. Should a person be upset because the other wants to keep it that way? And most of all if the sex is GREAT (and you really don’t want to give it up) how do you end it?
You catch feelings because you’re human.
In theory, “ass on demand” seems simple – no strings, no commitments, no expectations – just come over, give you some hard dick and be out. I’ve been there. Tried it – a few times – and the reality is that it doesn’t last forever and someone always catches feelings. Why?
There is a level of intimacy and sharing of yourself when you have sex with someone, no matter what kind of agreement you have and how much you try to regulate it. Sex was never designed to be the emotionless, “just gimme a nut” experience that society has been trying to make it to be. What adds to it, is that it’s RARE that people immediately leave after they have sex. There’s the cuddling, pillow talk, etc that contributes to people catching feelings.
Speaking of feelings, you can’t control your feelings – you can only experience them. You can control how you respond to those feelings, but you can’t control your feelings. You shouldn’t get upset if the other person catches feelings and you haven’t and vice versa. That’s called being human.
Personally it’s selfish and irresponsible of you to continue to want to have sex with the person, knowing they’ve become emotionally attached and you haven’t – no matter how great the sex is. You’re playing around with them and that’s some bullshit. You enjoyed the ride (literally) for however long it has been going on, and now it’s over. If you don’t have feelings for him, then stop effin’ him.
I’m sure you can find someone else willing to give you dick with no strings attached.
You can email your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org