The Shallow End

By Nick Campbell:

How would you know if you’re hung up on looks? There is no harm in admiring beauty, we all do it because we’re all human. Since I’ve never known a couple to have a long lasting and sustainable marriage based on looks, it’d behoove you to avoid shallowness. There is a fine line between shallowness and not settling for less. Don’t get me wrong, I get it. It’s one thing to avoid being shallow, and another to get with someone you have zero attraction to for whatever the reason may be. It’s something we’re faced with all the time in dating. But there are a few ways to a little self evaluating when it comes to shallowness.

Do you zoom in on the tiniest flaws?

The whole height thing that lights up discussion boards, it’s asinine. I get it, you’re a 5’11 woman so you may not be attracted to a 5’8 man off top. But if you’re a 5’4 woman who refuses to date a man unless he’s 6 ft you may be wallowing in the shallow end of the pool. You’re not even that tall yourself? Why do you need a extremely tall man? It’s one thing to have a “preference”, but when it hits “requirement” stage you’re pushing it. Here’s what you can try instead: Appreciate the differences in a person, and don’t demand but rather prefer. Keep in mind that the average height of a man is 5’9, anything else is considered an anomaly.

Do you feel the need to date attractive people to boost your own ego?

Fellas, does having a hot date on your arm make you feel more like a man? Or for the ladies, does having that “fine” man with you make you feel as if you’re winning? If arm candy is a must ask yourself what happens about when someone better comes along. I’m not talking about for you, I’m talking about them. Because don’t these so called fine men/women have unlimited options? Here’s what you can try instead: Focus on their personality a little more, I know many fine women with the personalities of door knobs. It doesn’t make them any more appealing, it merely makes them arm candy. So look for something deeper.

Recall some of the most happiest couples you know. 

Look close at them and find what really connects them. Is it their physical attraction? Or what it be their bond and mental connection? It’s quite a challenge to be know shallow. It goes against our very nature to be attracted to what’s beautiful. I’m sure some of the most pretty women I know get away with murder because of how fine they are. Studies even show that attractive people make more money in the workplace. What you can do? Heed the lessons you see in the happiest couples you know. I can almost guarantee that the bulk of them are operating on the bond alone, they are in the deep end of the pool. Not the shallow one!

Till next time TRP!



About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • I know someone that will say in a heartbeat, “My husband is not the best looking person in the world, but he treats me wonderful and is a good man.” She has been married and happy going on 20 years, while those taking “lookers” are changing boos every few months.