You’re not doing it right..

By Nick Campbell:

How do you know when you’re doing it right? Is it the way she moans? How about the way he squirms? Well, if you’re in tune with your partners body and pleasures it will come naturally. But if you want some sure signs have a look below. First off, don’t get too caught up on the performance aspect to where you can’t enjoy it. You need to enjoy each other and take your sex to new heights whenever possible. With that said and in all fun of course, here are some ways to know you’re doing it right tonight!

He/She is speaking in tongues and cussing you out in languages you never knew they could speak!

You know as well as I do that when your partner gets that full on orgasm, they go into convulsions and start speaking in tongues like they got the damn Holy Ghost or something. Also, how many of you fellas knew your girl could cuss you out in Spanish? Give her a good orgasm and watch you become all sorts of m***fu*** and all sorts of names. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing! 😉 You’re not doing it right unless she’s cussing you out when it’s over.

They have random afterthoughts of the experience in the middle of the day.. 

You’re not doing it right unless she’s sitting at work in a meeting, then all of the sudden she gets an afterthought in her mind. At that moment she’s forced to excuse herself because suddenly it became Niagara Falls down there. Random daydreaming is a sure sign she’s “dicktimized”

She’s not dicktimized until she’s walking up to random strangers mumbling your name…

Careful with this one though fellas! Why? When you’ve put it down that brutal and this is occurring, she’s gonna be a stage 5 clinger. So unless you want that, exercise the power of the pole wisely!


He cant keep it in…  

Point blank if he’s not busting in a timely manner, then ladies you’re not doing it right. You should bring him to the brink and back again forcefully using the kryptonite you possess. He shouldn’t be able to hang, he should stop within 3-5 minutes in and be like “hold up, you got something in there.” At this point is where you bring him back in and finish him off. You’re not doing it right unless he can’t hang long in your sh*t!

All in all, this is just for kicks! Remember sex with your partner should be always fun and not a competition. Got a better list in mind? Leave a comment! 


Till next time TRP! 


About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • I pay no attention to what she says, but what her body does. The body never lies.