Opening Up The Toy Chest

By: Guest Blogger

Introducing sex toys into your relationship can seem like a daunting task, especially if neither of you have tried one before. But bringing them into your bedroom can help spice things up and even teach you things about yourself that you may have never known otherwise. If you’ve been thinking of adding a little something extra, but weren’t sure of how to go about it, you’ve come to the right place.

Read ahead for tips to make an easy transition.

Knowledge is Power:

You should spend some time researching the market before you even bring up the idea to your partner. Look into your different options and get an idea of what kind of sex toys you would like to try. A lot of people conjure up ideas of thick, veiny, plastic dongs when they hear the words “sex toy,” so be sure to come to the conversation with an arsenal of options and facts. You can do this by perusing online websites. Adam & Eve is a great resource for this, as it has a wide variety of toys, along with great explanations and reviews.

Communication is Key:

Now that you’ve learned about every kind of ball, ring, cuff and whip there is, it’s time to speak up. Find a time when you can casually bring up the idea, perhaps during dinner, a walk or when you’re watching TV. Never bring this idea up when you are about to, are, or just finishing having sex. This will immediately make your partner feel like they are inadequate. However, this is a feeling you may have to deal with no matter what time you bring it up. Be sure to let them know that this is about trying something new and about adding pleasure to your bedroom sessions, not about them lacking skill.


Take it Slow:

If your partner decides to give it a-go, then your best bet is to take it slow. Don’t run out to by the biggest and baddest toy you can find. Spend some time online or in a store looking at toys. Point out the ones you were interested in trying and be open to what they want to try. It’s very important to be open-minded, as you two could be turned on by very different things. Take the time to really talk things out and check out your options. Once you’ve found a toy (or a few) that you can agree on, order them. If you don’t want to go to a store, you can easily order them online. And don’t worry, your neighbors or mailman won’t know what you ordered as online shipments are typically packed very discretely.
Keep it light:

The first go round with a new toy may not be everything you expected it to be, much like the first time you sleep with someone new. Don’t take it too seriously, just experiment and have fun. You’re both learning, so be sure to keep it light and laugh off any mishaps that may occur (should you have any). It’s important to try a toy a few times before you decide if you like it or not, because you may not have been completely relaxed or comfortable the first time you used it.

Try and try again:

If you find that you just can’t get down with the one you bought, don’t fret, there’s a whole world of other toys out there. One toy isn’t indicative of all of the others. Keep trying and exploring until you find the one that works for both of you. You’ll find yourself growing closer to your partner in this process and bringing a focus back on your sexual health. You’ll benefit no matter what!

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.

  • Education is important. There are so many different options to choose from – to just choose something without doing any research is asking for failure.