The Silent Partner

By Nick Campbell:

I think every person has a friend that goes thru a “ho phase.” But when they go thru this phase what do you tell them? Have you ever tried to intervene? You know what they say about grown people and their decisions, it’s seldom you can tell them anything. So what happens when that friend lets you know they’re creeping on their partner or spouse? The question becomes do you high five them or do you scold them? When I’ve heard the stories from friends about their indiscretions, I didn’t know whether to dissuade them or just wish them luck. I pose to you this simple yet complex question: What should you do? Well, this depends on a few factors and circumstances…

How close are you and this “Friend”?? 

Is this a friend you’ve known for years, like since childhood? If not, then why would you be concerned much about their discretions? But let’s say it is a good friend. You’d have to consider what they have to lose. Example, your homegirl has a really good man at home, and she is admitting to you that she is either creeping or thinking of it. You wouldn’t attempt to pull her coat on that one? Wouldn’t it be in her best interest to be sat down and set straight to save herself from herself? We all need that sometime..

Are you friends with their partner or spouse? 

This is where things gets sticky.. Sure your allegiance and loyalty will always rest with the friend. If you have a relationship with that friends spouse or partner, you’ll be in a peculiar situation. You don’t want to alienate this spouse or partner. After all they’ve been great to your friend and you might feel a bit of guilt by withholding this info. But here is why you should withhold it and why you must: It’s not your job to be the one to reveal those secrets. The onus is on your friend to come clean (or not) about their discretions. You’re not a P.I. nor should you step into that role, even if you feel bad about what’s happening.

So what now? 

It’s up to you! If you feel the need to dissuade that friend from engaging in that type of behavior, then by all means step in. But if you choose not to, then that’s fine too. Do what you feel is appropriate, and of course make sure you’ll be in a comfortable spot. Don’t let your friends drag you into an emotional affair that takes you out of your comfort zone. Matter of fact, if they’re really your friend, they wouldn’t put you in that position. Have you ever been placed in a situation like this before? What was it like? How did it end up? Leave a comment below!

Till next time TRP!


About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • My name is Jocelyn….and I approve this message. “Being kept in the dark…” on point.

  • I disagree. What contributes to people cheating is the partner being kept in the dark by others that are aware of it.

    The “that’s their business mind set” is a BS excuse.

    You don’t have to try to tell them what to do about it. You simply make them aware of what you know and leave the rest to them.