Psychotherapists recently released a list with the TOP 15 Things that Happy Couples do differently. It was an interesting list….What with all the long faces and bitching/moaning I hear about relationships you would think it would be a very technical and FANCY list. It was not. Here is the list along with my witty commentary:
The Top 15 Happy Couple Countdown
1.) Small Celebrations–Happy Couples have a way of remembering seemingly small events throughout the relationship(first kisses, favorite songs, first date spots) that helps them return to the COURTSHIP days.
2.) Secret Stash:–They put aside money and time “just for fun.” They plan trips, events, and dates. Even if it is just a “stay-cation.” The make time for pleasure.
3.) Couple Code–A language that ONLY they know what they are talking about.
4.) Grown Folk Business–When the going gets tough, they don’t call Mom or Dad…or Big Momma and/or Pookie’n’em.
5.) Sense of Humor–Hey, everybody remembers Patch Adams, right? Laughter really is the best medicine. In fact, most psychotherapist will tell you when the laughter is gone, you better get it back real quick. If not, start planning a funeral for relationship.
6.) 50-50 Myth–Happy Couples don’t nickel-and-dime about chores. *Blowing A Trumpet With Great Fanfare* There is NO such thing as 50-50. Give it up already. If something needs to be done, do it. Or don’t. But knock it off with the nagging. However, just think if you have a kind-hearted man, is it really worth an attack on his manhood because he forgets to put the socks in the hamper? For a good man, he can leave his socks right there on the floor. Fine wit’ me.
7.) Big Piece of Chicken–Happy Couples understand each other’s needs. We all have eccentricities and quirks. As Chris Rock said, his daddy needed the Big Piece of Chicken. His mother understood that and that is all that needed to be said. Just the way it is. Period. Next.
8.) $@#$ Just Gets Real Sometimes–Happy couples are grateful for the ordinary. Life is not a romantic comedy or a Harlequin romance novel. And quit reading People magazine for God’s sake. Reality: He doesn’t expect her to clean the house looking liking Beyonce; She doesn’t expect him to ball like Jay-Z on $40,000 a year job. Sometimes REAL life is about changing diapers (the kids’ and his), paying bills/being broke, playing taxi cab, scrubbing floors, etc. Hollywood hides this fact. Happy Couples are grateful to have that person by their side through every day life.
9.) Like Nike–Happy Couples just do it. Period. Nothing left to see here….move along.
10.) The ABSOLUTE Quickest Way To Be Single–Never, EVER do the “withholding” psychological move. You will be alone. Trust me. Happy Couples never withhold nooky as punishment. If it is serious enough to withhold, you need to pack up your stuff and get out.
11.) Zero to 60–Happy Couples know how to get from a baby’s poopy diapers to passion in a span of seconds. Sometimes candle light and wine is nice. But other times you just have to make your move. Chop! Chop!
12.) Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong–Happy Couples do what psychotherapists call the “ultimate intimate move.” They actually look at each other in the eye when they get “there.”
13.) Baby Boo and Huggy Bear–Happy Couples use terms of endearment. Don’t hate. 🙂 Using the term of endearment reflects a private message system that shuts out the rest of the world. It reflects playfulness and intimacy. So go ahead get your Pooh Bear on.
14.) Me and You Against the World–Happy Couples protect their relationship against people and things that cut into the connection. Therapists believe that when couples take 10 minutes out of the day to reconnect and talk they have stronger bonds. These conversations are NOT heavy…just check ins. *S/N Ladies, don’t strike up this conversation 5 minutes before the game starts. 😉
15.) Smile Already–Happy Couples have a happy, positive INDIVIDUAL outlook about themselves. They are happy and positive as individual units! Who can love you if you can’t love yourself first? Be a treasure to yourself first before giving someone their portion!
Actually, I love this list and I agree with everything that is on it….In fact, I got a couple of chuckles and had a few warm and fuzzy moments reflecting on good times with some exes. But then I thought if happiness really is as easy as doing the things on this list, then why aren’t more people happy in relationships? Then I dawns on me: Because many of us are driven by how they feel at given period of time…..and happiness is a choice not dictated by your emotions. You just choose to be happy, no matter what comes your way. Sometimes, it really is as simple as that. Everything on the list is not driven by anything or anyone other than the choices of the two people on the list…..Quit waiting on “sunny days;” you just have to carry your own weather sometimes.