What’s In A Title?

By Nick Campbell:

You tell me… How important is having a title to go by? Do you need the validation it brings? If it’s missing from the relationship, surely it can continue right? Well, consider this scenario: Man meets woman, they hang out and go out for drinks ETC. They may even smash and cupcake at home. But at what point does that woman say to the man “Are you my boyfriend?” O_o… Or take the party this man and woman go to.

The guy sees some friends he recognizes and they walk over to say hello. “Hey *** this is my……friend Lisa” O_o… Lisa, now gives that confused look and the relationship has now taken a turn into a dark alley. But how would suggest someone handle a situation like this? Because it can easily go the other way quickly. The man could say: This is my girlfriend Lisa… And as a result Lisa is like: “Since when?” It all comes down to communication in the very beginning. So what can you do?

Let your intentions be known early.. 

From the gate if a person knows where you stand about issues like casual sex, long term goals, marriage ETC it’s easier for a person to know when they can have that talk. Everyone works at different paces! So just because it doesn’t happen at the pace you expect, it doesn’t mean it won’t at all. So in contrast don’t rush the “talk”, just let it flow.

Don’t get hung up on the title itself.. 

The guy aforementioned could easily introduce Lisa as the love of his life, the star in his eye. Two hours later he could be in the guest bathroom getting it in. That title will affirm you, but it won’t necessarily protect you. A creep is a creep, a skank is a skank no matter what you call them.

But DO have some understanding of where you stand.. 

If not, you’ll have nothing but confusion and drama awaiting you. Trust me, you don’t want to be in the situation where two to three years have passed you by being a friend. You’ll be so pissed and full of resentment, filled with anger at the person. And why? For not being decisive enough to make the decision of where they stand? Or because you never took the time to stake a position and have the clarity you need. That’s not always on the other person, sometimes we have to take some responsibility.

Till next time TRP!

~Nick C.

 

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • You would hope being “titled” would mean something but if it doesn’t I don’t want it! No, thank you!

  • For different reasons people find comfort in a title. They see it as a sense of clarity and security about their situation. A title is worthless without the commitment behind the title.