Dueling Personalities

By Nick Campbell:

Extroverts vs. Introverts: Can they co exist in a relationship? For those unaware of what these terms mean, basically extroverts are social butterflies, whereas introverts are more guarded and private. An important thing to remember about introverts: Being shy doesn’t mean you’re introverted. It comes from the extreme reluctance to interact with others. It’s not necessarily a bad thing and doesn’t doom relationships. On the flip side of it comes the extrovert, the one who needs to be connected to others. Does that mean being the life of the party automatically makes them arrogant? Sometimes, but it depends on the individual. Most extroverted individuals thrive on social interaction, but many don’t need to be the “center” of the attention. But here is where the two can clash: Social settings, event planning, and family functions. Whether you’re married, dating, or single, these situations will come up. When these dueling personality types begin to clash, here’s some tips to bring it on even keel.

Learn to appreciate your differences: As previously stated, all extroverts aren’t obnoxious pricks who need the spotlight constantly shining on them. However, couldn’t you argue that Facebook itself gives us enough of that? An introvert is not some anti-social sociopath that hates everyone. These two types of people can co exist. For some the opposition might actually be an attraction…

Seek compromise: You get an invite to a party and of course the extrovert is ready to party, and is about to not only RSVP, but they’re ready to invite others.  The introvert on the other hand would rather make it a quiet night at home, and could care less whether they grace the party with their presence. So how about a compromise of hitting the event, while agreeing on a time to wrap it up and make it back home? No need to joust over whether you guys should go or not!

For the Extrovert: Try not to leave your introverted date in the wings while you make your rounds to mingle. Definitely invite him/her to join you while you work the room. But if they’re not cool with that, simply respect their comfort level and make it a point to check in on them. Bring them a drink and make sure to spend some quality time with the person you came with! It’s easy to get caught up in the moment of being the social butterfly you are. But be considerate!

For the Introvert: It’s ok to be in your comfort zone and not be as interactive as your date. But don’t be a killjoy and let your hesitation to mingle cause unneeded tension. If for anything but common courtesy and manners, at least introduce yourself or at least give a friendly smile. If you’re being perceived as “stank”, the person you’re with will be spending too much time explaining “what’s wrong” with his/her date. Again, be considerate! It’s that simple..

Till next time TRP!

~Nick C.

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • “Learn to appreciate the differences” – that is sound advice no matter what those differences are. It’s the differences that make you complete as a couple.

  • I find myself needing the balance an introvert gives. Still trying to figure out why

  • This is an interesting topic! I see myself as fitting both sides of this spectrum.