Ready to jump the broom? Got a lot of your friends tying the knot this summer? With summer brings the wedding season, and this season brings the “marriage itch” to many. Ok, so lets say you’re ready to take the plunge… A few things you might consider:
1. Are you really in love? Make no mistake, love can carry you through some serious hard times and conditions. It’s what left over when there is no money. It’s what left over when your youthful looks fade away. It’s what left after the sex becomes complacent. Love can conquer a lot of materialistic and shallow dealings. Example, how do you think couples stay together after one becomes paralyzed? Or after one doesn’t look as “hot” as they did in their 20’s? The hole goes deeper than you can imagine!
2. How’s your money looking? Romance without finance is a pure nuisance! Divorce stats notwithstanding.. Money issues can kill your relationship and any marriage potential. Does that mean you need to compare portfolios and 401k on date#3? Of course not! However, keep an eye out for suspect habits. Example, Ladies, you meet a guy and he’s got a fancy car on rims. He’s got money right? Well, there is major difference between long money and “Flash now-but time will reveal” money. Collectively, the African American community in particular have struggled with this. Why is that?? What can be done about that?
3. How compatible are you? Far too often people forget to know their limits. Just like when people go out drinking, they have to know what they can handle. Same goes with relationships too! You know the limits to your patience. So you have to ask what yourself what can you tolerate? Because at some point you’ll have to tolerate something, unless you’re foolishly expecting perfection. Can’t do kids? Then why date or consider marrying someone with 3 to 4? If you try to force the peg into a square hole anyway, mark my words you’ll live to regret it. Or if you’re an intellectual and find yourself dumbing it down to avoid being single, again, you will suffer.
4. Are you done “doing you?” Many folks settle down today as a result of many factors. Sometimes they have nothing to do with love or commitment. Some people are still desperate for attention, some still need validation. Can you settle down with that mentality? So many of us are missing the memo. A relationship typically involves two people, not just one. Making things worse are the amount of grown people still “doing them.” The narcissism we deal with today is pretty grotesque. It’s hard to cut thru all the bullsh-t! But it’s important to understand how this can impact your marriage potential.
So give that some serious thought! Wedding season is exciting, and you’re probably looking forward to joining the party yes? Before you do, ask yourself: Are you ready?
Till next time TRP!