By Nick Campbell:

In these economic times you’re likely to meet men who are laid off from work. It’s even more likely that he may be at home with the kids. But when you hear the term “stay at home dad” do you see this man the same way you would see a woman? Why not? When a woman is a stay at home mom we applaud it. But when a man is a stay at home dad, he’s suspect and border line failure. What gives? Also, consider this: There are websites that feature profiles of women inmates across the country. They are gaining in popularity with over 50k hits a month. But when the topic of men who are convicted felons pop up, or the prospect of dating someone who’s done a stretch in jail, this stigma kicks in. They’re written off as losers, no good criminals right? But do we ever question a woman’s possible criminal record? Has a man ever asked a woman “have you ever been arrested or been to jail?” It’s not very often right? But why is that the standard for men is my question.

Men have an equal tough time as women do in regards to dating. But Men aren’t exempt from hypocrisy either. Are we not quick to write off women with “slutty” reputations? Or better yet, have that perception in the first place because of the amount of men they slept with? All the while, our conquests reach epic levels and we prefer to sweep it under the rug. We want a humble woman, professional, homegirl, slut, and supermom all in one. Admit it… But we never want those values to stand alone and don’t let them clash, we’ll throw a fit. We want a so called lady in the streets, but get upset when they’re a lady in the sheets. And we’re even more shocked when we get a freak in the sheets, and be damned to find out they’re a freak in the streets..

What about men with kids?

The worse offender of all hypocrisies: The single dad.. Being that 16% of all single parent households are ran by single fathers, you have to wonder how the stigma of dating with kids plays into that. Most single mothers that come with the package by way of their children, are normally accepted with open arms. If anyone was to dare challenge that or demean that, he or she is labeled insensitive. Followed by the retort of “well if they can’t accept my kids, they can’t accept me.” Ok, fair enough. But what about the men who are raising kids alone? They too come with a package deal, but if a man has multiple kids he’s often ridiculed the same way. It gets worse when he doesn’t have any custody of the kids, and that could be for a variety of reasons. But even still he’s written off as a dead beat. But mothers who do the same get to fly under the radar. Is that fair? Tomato/tomato, same thing just spelled differently. It’s the new paradox in dating..

Till next time TRP..

Nick C.

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • Unfortunately hypocrisy and double standards are something we all do – some more than others. By no means does it excuse or justify it – it’s just one of those things we all deal with.