In trying to ascertain what constitutes a good man, I have found that the definition varies according to a) the needs of the person giving the definition and b) the self concept of the man giving the definition.
Good men don’t come with a list of ingredients pasted to their forehead. They simply ARE. In any situation, they make choices and interact with people on a positive level. This isn’t to say that a good man is a pushover or allows himself to be treated badly, he will however, do what he thinks is best for all concerned.
In dating, he’ll make the effort to be on time or let his date know ahead of time if he’s going to be unavoidably delayed. He is considerate. A good man may not be a wealthy man, but he will be generous of his time. A good man will be apologetic if his actions cause inconvenience to his date. Even if he has little control of the circumstances. He is compassionate.
In a relationship, a good man will strive to be a good partner. He may not always get it right, but he’s prepared to make adjustments where necessary. He is approachable. A good man hurts, like everyone else. He may withdraw for a period to regroup, he may be expressive about his feelings but he will be prepared to seek a solution to a problem. He is negotiable. A good man will pay attention to his partners needs and moods. He may not be able to predict and fix her troubles, but he will listen and offer moral support. He is comforting.
In a marriage, a good man takes his vows seriously. He is honourable. He may not be spontaneous or adventurous but will happily try something new if it will benefit his marriage. He is committed. In times of hardship, he may feel that he is not fulfilling his role as husband, but he will do what he can to alleviate the stress. He is flexible.
As a father, a good man recognizes that his relationship with his children’s mother is an important aspect of fatherhood. He is loving. If he is on the receiving end of negative responses from an ex, peace will be his aim. He is not a warmonger. He will put the needs of his children before any difficulties between himself and others in the children’s lives. He is responsible.
Although at a glance these descriptions appear to be prescriptive, when you look carefully you will see, it’s not specific things that make a man ‘a good man’… but a general all round persona. Whether single or married a good man is just that, good! Whether a father or not, he is still just that, good!
So to all the gentlemen that recognize these traits in themselves, the women of the world salute you. To all the women who recognize these traits in the men around them, fathers, brothers, cousins, workmates, friends and the love of your life… be openly appreciative. A good man doesn’t rely on others to make them who they are, but they do enjoy hearing good things about themselves.