A Closed Chapter

By Nick Campbell:

When we go through that difficult phase in life that is a break up, or worse, a death of a lover, it can cause many to delve into an unhealthy pattern. This unhealthy behavior involves trying to “replace” this person by searching for a duplicate or replica of them. It’s not to say that you can’t find someone like the one you lost. Sometimes it may just so happen that the new lover you encounter might have the same qualities as that lost lover. But would you really want to bet the relationship on it? It can be unhealthy if you begin to set the expectation on each person you meet. If you’re chasing the past and trying to find it in others, you’ll likely stay where you are with no room to truly grow.

A great way to break this habit if you are doing this: Work on giving everyone you meet a clean slate and the benefit of the doubt. It’s only fair and it can prevent you getting into the habit of expecting them to be a replica of your past. You might even come to realize that you like the difference. Another great thing about breaking from the past is the excitement of the unknown that comes with the future. Why rob yourself of this chance? It’s expected to be in that comfort zone because we are creatures of habit and may be resistant to change. So the question remains: Is this a healthy thing to do in dating? Can we afford to keep wagering our future relationships on the mold that we have set based on our past? That’s something we all will have to ask ourselves when dealing with these emotional issues. It is in our best interests to begin learning how we can move on in a healthy way. We deserve it and the people we meet deserve that much as well.

 

In sum.. Don’t restrict yourself to the past and trying to duplicate it! Close the chapter and keep it moving…

Till next time TRP!

~Nic

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!

  • To quote Musiq, “I’m not the blame… for the pain… that was caused by previous cats.  You gotta see me for me.”
    People are so afraid of being alone, that they’ll jump from one relationship to the next with no regard for the other person’s feelings.  They’re just concerned about filling their own personal void.