When looking at the difference between these two words we have to accept there is a difference. Some would say if you are ready for something it means you have put everything in place so that you can go ahead with whatever it is you want to do or achieve. Some would call that preparation. However, when we look closer, preparation can be done and when all is prepared, one isn’t ready to go ahead. For example, if you prepare to make a cake, you gather your ingredients, measure them out and have them all in front of you, yet you might not be ready to bake the cake, or you could wash your hands, pre-heat your oven and be ready to bake a cake, but don’t have a recipe much less ingredients.
So we, need to make sure we know if we are prepared AND ready for any goal we have in mind.
Many times as individuals we complete a set of tasks we have for ourselves and then decide we want to have a relationship. However, those tasks didn’t include being prepared for a relationship. We don’t explore our own issues of suspicion, insecurity, mistrust, selfishness, priority and wonder why our relationship; fails; at worse or is difficult to maintain; at best.
Money is often an issue, so we get caught up in two jobs or a job with long unsocial hours and expect the other person to ‘fall in’ with that schedule, feeling hard done by when they don’t. It may be issues involving children. Lack of a support network for babysitting causing difficulties in organising dates and we feel hard done by when the person says they’d rather not date a person with young children. It may be education, projects and papers due meaning you haven no time to devote to nurturing a relationship and then feeling the other person is unsupportive.
We’d like to think if we like a person enough these things would not be an issue, but the reality is that trying to embark on a relationship when there are already obstacles in the way makes for a harder mountain to climb, especially if we have already prepared and readied ourselves. We want to be with someone who is also prepared and ready to focus and devote time to building a relationship. There will be situations that need compromise as you go along, without the added pressures of not being prepared.
Knowing our own shortcomings and being open to working on them is the first step to preparing ourselves for the changes in lifestyle that come with being in a relationship. The adage of ‘instead of looking for the ‘right’ partner, strive to be the best partner’ is a very apt one.