Often loss of any sort brings on fear, abandonment, helplessness and other emotional imbalances. Being able to deal with emotional trauma effectively is the key to a full productive life.
Crying is not a problem until it becomes a norm. To cry is to release pent up hurt. Once that hurt has been released, there is no point in holding on to it!
Remembering hurt is not a problem, until it becomes a focus.
Even being hurt, is not a problem, until it starts to fester and affect the rest of your life, for the rest of your life.
Pain lets us know when something isn’t right. It also indicates that we are living, feeling beings. It also serves as a warning system to prevent further harm. Pain, in it’s place, is good. So long as we keep it in perspective, it is a productive resource. Once we lose that perspective it becomes a liability. To attempt avoid ‘possible’ pain is to miss out on opportunities for growth from personal experience. The old adage ‘it’s better to have loved and lost, then never having loved at all’ is very true. We could replace the word ‘loved and lost’ with other words, laughed and cried, tried and missed, walked and stumbled, climbed and fallen… anything where learning has taken place, even for an instance is better than never to have had that experience at all.
In trying to avoid emotional pain, we miss out on the joys of a journey no matter how short, how tedious, how challenging. The woman that has been in an abusive relationship, rarely started off as such. When she finally extracts herself, she does so because she has learned the value of herself. There are women in relationships where she has no room for growth, or even realise that she isn’t growing, so may never see her true value. This is not to say it’s better to have lived under physical abuse that never to have had a relationship, but that woman may well think, ‘If I hadn’t been treated that way, I would never have come this far’… we all know ourselves. Lack of motivation often leaves us procrastinating.
The experiences we have, can either make us or break us. WE choose which, depending how we handle our emotions. Love causes us to behave in certain ways that are destructive to us, hate causes us to lose focus on our progression, fear is a chancre that can take root and bind our spirit. A healthy attitude to love, allows us to recognise what is good and bad about a person and gives us the freedom to adjust our behaviour to benefit those concerned… (enabling a drug addict, alcoholic, gambler out of love, is not beneficial) hate has no silver lining, when fear raises it’s head it’s an opportunity to conquer an obstacle. It’s up to us to choose the path to progress!