Maybe it’s The Thug in Me?

By Nick Campbell:

One of the most ironic oxymorons of all dating myths and paradoxes. The mythical figure known as Barack Shakur. The hybrid of the thug and gentleman mixed into one man. I’ve had several debates with female friends about whether this person really exists. Ask any guy and they’ll swear they are that person. So that doesn’t count as much… I happen to think this mythical figure has been blinding so many women into thinking that’s what they need from a perfect man..

Barack Shukur, ever heard of him? He’s the mix of what some women want on both sides of the aisle, but all in one man. Is this possible?

So is there a such thing as a thug/gentleman? Or gentleman/thug? That’s a loaded question because it can vary on how you see so called thugs and gentlemen. But I’ll say this, I know many thugs and they are exactly that. I know many gentlemen and they are exactly that. It’s an oxymoron, similar to saying a she’s a “classy whore”. I asked some female fan’s of our Facebook page and here’s some of their thoughts.

“My boo is corporate (works in HR with a degree and owns property), thug, conservative, but can chill in the hood comfortably. he’ll protect me and never let anyone (male or female) disrepect me, but the next minute he’ll f**k me like i stole something. he’s rich on paper, but smart enough to claim broke as the next nucca lol. he got family that has degrees and doctorates while the other half you cant wear a gold chain around lol. i always tell my mother my baby has and is EVERYTHING and its pure excitement”-Sharde

Very possible. mine is ghanian. Articulate, educated, well mannered, years his mother and me like queens, our kids, family and well being is his priority. but when he needs to, his hustle side comes out….that’s a when I see the brooklyn side of home come out. the first time I saw it, I was speechless. I had never heard him raise his voice, use slang, or come off as threatening. I was kind of scared but extremely turned on. He wasn’t only this “nice guy” everyone said he was. I call him my sophisticated thug. He knows when to turn it off and turn it on “-April

When a nice guy gets turned down, a common reason is: “he didn’t have that edge”. Ladies, please clarify what this “edge” is…

For more female perspective I reached out to our fan page again.

I don’t need a man to make me feel secure….I am secure within myself…I have a good job that pays well…I’m very independent..I can take care of myself…I’m a woman…I need a companion…One that is intelligent and know what he wants out of life….Not sitting around and play head guys all day.”-Yvonne

Ladies, you get approached often. So how do you separate that “edge” a man has from someone who is just plain trifling? How would you know the difference?

In most cases it’s by the way he approaches. There really is no need for me to see your “edge” upon first introduction, unless I just happen upon you while you’re involved in a situation where it is appropriate.“-Michele

Ladies who seek “edge” often get impaled on that “edge”.. i like stable ventures “-Renz

So it appeared that many could tell the difference between a nice man approaching them and a trifling one. Ok, if that’s the case, then why do we hear so many horror stories from ladies about said trifling man? Something to ponder about when it comes to oxymorons in dating…

Till next time TRP! ~Nick Campbell 

Follow me on twitter: nicky_charles

Nicholas Campbell



About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!