Why You Gotta Look So Good

Why you gotta look so good

Damn you make it so hard to leave you

Why you gotta look so good

I don’t want nobody else to have you…

Women Chasing Man

If you can relate to these song lyrics then you may be dealing with “ho problems” in your relationship.  “Ho problems” is a phrase coined by, Demetria Hines, that means if you are dating someone that you consider “fine” then chances are other people do as well and there are problems that come along with that – mainly people trying to get at your partner.  She says that no matter how much he/she does the right thing – doesn’t cheat or do inappropriate things – you are still going to have to deal with others wanting them – hence the term, “ho problems”.

Being in a relationship with someone that attracts a lot of attention can be a blessing and a curse.  On the one hand, most people do not want to be with someone that no one else wants.  Most want to be with someone that others find attractive.  On the other hand, the fact that others want him/her can help cause unnecessary stress in the relationship and insecurities on the other person’s part because they may feel that they have to compare themselves to everyone else.

Some common thoughts are, “They can have almost anyone, so why would they want me?” “There is no way he/she can be faithful with all the attention they’re getting”, etc.

While those thoughts may apply in some situations, they don’t to most and you cannot let those toxic thoughts poison your relationship.  If the biggest problem that you have to deal with in your relationship is other people hitting on your partner then be happy – and consider yourself very blessed.  Generally speaking, people want what they can’t have.  If all they’re doing is WANTING your partner and not GETTING them, then be secure in the fact that he/she chose you and not any of them.

However, if the attention your partner is getting is not being handled properly (and proper is relative to the guidelines the TWO of you set), then realize your problem isn’t with them.  Your problem is with your partner and your attention should be focused on fixing the problem with them, not with what anyone else is doing.

No matter if the problems in your relationship are “ho problems” or  some other type of problem, you have to determine if it’s worth it by simply adding up everything you’re getting from the relationship and sacrificing what you’re getting in return.  If the math makes sense, then stop worrying about the BS and enjoy your relationship.  If the math doesn’t make sense, then move on.


About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.