The Seven Sides of a Family

Parents as individuals

Parents a unit

Children as individuals

Children as a team

Intellectual Development of the family

Social Development of the family

The family as a unit in society

The family unit is a complex one. On the face of it, there are parents/guardians and children and it’s them against the world. However, if we look a little closer at the components of that family we see that unless all the aspects of that family is functioning positively as individual components, AND connected , it will become ‘dysfunctional’. The effects of that dysfunction will manifest itself in varied ways; maladaptive behaviour in the children, breakdown of relationships, antisocial concepts towards society, low achievement, and poor self concept, just to mention a few. This article aims to explore the seven sides of a family, what they consist of, how they inter-relate and how having an awareness can address some of the issues families face.

 

‎1/7 – The Parents – the quality of a family starts with the parents; their effectiveness as a couple, their aspirations for their future, their ability to be problem solvers and their basic compatibility. It may be argued that these can be learned, but in order to learn anything there has to be a will and appreciation of the effectiveness of having the skill.

2/7 – Parents as individuals – Parents who are ‘complete’ as individuals become stronger as a team. When a relationship between two people is based on dependence due to a lack of self esteem, these impacts on their parental role and in turn on any children they bear. Being able to lead and be lead according to situation and need is vital in the success of parenting. Equal opportunity families, cater to individuals so they have the same opportunity to achieve and grow within their own confines.

4/7 – Children as a team – Whether you like it or not, if you have more than one child, there will be a circle in your unit that you cannot infiltrate. If you try, you will be encouraging them to lie to you. This circle should be encouraged and initially refereed, until they work out the pecking order. Confidence in troops comes from confidence in self to have trained them effectively.

5/7 – Intellectual development of the family –  As a unit the family that learns from each other and uses the skills, information and experiences of each regardless of how insignificant it may seem, is a family that builds confidence, respect and value in each other. A family’s life style and home should reflect the skills, knowledge and interests of each member of the family.

6/7 – Social Development of the family – Individual characters and personalities, develop individual social circles. The family that can appreciate each other’s social circle and be comfortable mixing them, are a family who embraces and respects individuality and in turn again encourages high self esteem in its team members, negative influences in person’s social circle are invited into that circle, that invitation comes from a need. If a person has high self esteem generated from a nurturing family, that need won’t be there and nor will that negative influence.

7/7 – The family as a unit in society – Each family is a community in itself, if that community is not nurturing, protective and self efficient, then as a unit they cannot be effective and productive in the society they live in. As individuals they may, however society is parasitical it rarely gives back where as a strong family unit does, generally, in esteem.

 

Is it realistic to think that families like this exist?

Can a family evaluate their structure and make changes to foster these attitudes?

Is it even necessary for families to exist in this way?

Looking at the society around us, one thing is certain. The present system that is in place regarding family dynamics and structure seems to be ineffective, so something needs to change!

 

Basee

 

 

About BaseeSaka

has written 156 post in this blog.

Having experienced most relationship issues, from dating, cohabiting and parting ways, to long distance relationship, ‘near misses’ and heartbreak; I feel that my years have been filled experiences. Experiences that I am inclined to describe as positive. You can email her at: basee@relationshipplaybook.com