Written By: MaxLaine
Above is a picture of my car being RE-possessed last April 2009. As I watched the driver take away my car, I realized that he wasn’t taking away my Spirit. So often, we allow material things to validate who we are. In a matter of ten months, I lost my job, my home, & my car. I thought my life was over. How could this happen to ME? WHY? There I was in my mother’s garage watching the last valuable thing I had taken away from me. I knew I couldn’t afford it anymore, besides, I’m the one who called the financing company to pick it up because it needed electrical repairs that were very costly. It was the toughest decision that I had to make. I was “on the run” from the financing company since I lost my home they had no idea where I was living or if I was working. I could have continued driving the car but when it broke down but a mechanic quoted that the repairs would cost more than three thousand dollars. I cried for days and struggled for weeks to make up my mind whether I was going to borrow my mother’s extra car (which was the same make and model of my car but only 10 years older) that had no car payments or take a chance to fix my car even though, I was months behind on the car payments. For any sane individual, the decision was easy: just take the car without car payments. But in my “crazy” mind, I refused to Let It Go that easily.
One week before I called the financing company, I was outside with my daughter watching her play on her scooter along with some friends. I was enjoying the lovely Spring weather when I remembered praying to God three years earlier to take everyTHING and everyONE who shouldn’t be in my life away so that I can receive the Blessings he had prepared for me. By this time, my daughter’s father and I were no longer together and I cut off a lot of other toxic people in my life. The car was the last thing and there I was blocking my Blessings.
I always wanted to live an Artistic lifestyle where I can write all day, spend time with my daughter, and travel the world sharing my testimony with other mothers. I couldn’t do that with a full-time job, a mortgage, and a car note. I hadn’t noticed that I had written more short stories and was able to start writing my book while unemployment than I had ever done before. Holding onto the car meant I was holding onto everyTHING that it represented: all the struggles and hardships I endured with owning it. My actions was telling God that I wasn’t ready for change nor was I ready for the life I asked for. There HE was Blessing me with the freedom to do whatever I wanted and there I was going against HIM. I was left with no job and no major bills and I was still complaining.
Since 2006, I’ve been on a personal journey to heal my heart, mind, and spirit. I no longer let things or people validate who I am. Through it all, I learned that I surrounded myself with people who were poison to my Soul. I’ve let go of people who I thought loved and cared for me whether it was family members or longtime friends. In the process, my health and hair suffered.
Weeks after my car was RE-possessed, Blessings started to pour in. Since then, I have been given an opportunity to become a writer’s assistant and released a book I co-wrote. I live a Simple life and I’m finally happy with who I am and what I have.
It’s been almost two years since they took my car away and I’m still standing. I may not drive the car I want or live in an expensive home but I’m happy with what I got: the love I get from my beautiful daughter. I am determined to live an extraordinary, simple, humble life that I’ve been praying for. (heck, I’ve accomplished the Simple life part.) God has showed me that as long as my mind, heart, & spirit are open to His Blessings then all things are possible.
I now know that if I can dream it, then I can live it. I hope to inspire others to do the same. This is why I started this Blog so that I can document my past struggles in order to enjoy and appreciate my future successes. They may have RE-possessed my car but my mind, spirit, & heart are REnewed, REvived, & REjuvenated!!
Be “Crazy” for and about Yourself!