Happy Father’s Day… Mother

 

By: Max-Laine

I hate Father’s Day but not for the reason you may think.  The part that I dread the most is receiving text messages to wish me a “Happy Father’s Day” since I’m a single mom.  Uh?  What? I don’t get it.

So many moms love it and thinks it’s cool to receive these accolades.  Is it cool to teach my child that she doesn’t need her father in her life? Is it cool to ignore the fact that there are a lot of children being raised in households run by single moms?

I’m not knocking the fact that we are doing a job meant for two but I am not trying to replace my daughter’s father.  Let’s be realistic.  We can not be a father figure for our children. We’re built to mother our children.  If we were meant to be both parents then we wouldn’t need their fathers to conceive them.

 

For instance, I’ve heard moms who are raising boys say their problems began with potty training.  I’m sure they thought they could handle things on their own before realizing what it’s like to raise a son.  They had questions:  Is it okay to teach them to sit down or do they have to stand up to use the bathroom?  I don’t know the answer but that’s something they need their fathers for.  This is just an example of why mother’s can’t teach their sons to be a man.  I know there are mothers who are going to raise H-E double hockey sticks about this article but you can’t teach a boy to stand when you’re sitting…on the toilet that is.  Corny analogy but you get my point.  Boys need to actually see someone they can imitate…at least that’s what I was told.  For my co-author, Melanie, thankfully she has her brother there to help with her son.

I believe women can do anything but we can not teach a boy to be a man nor our daughters how a man is suppose to treat her.  I’ve heard from men who were raised in a single mom household.  They appreciated their mothers for trying but in the end they really needed their dads to teach them things.  I know from personal experience that I needed my father in my life or I wouldn’t have tried to seek love and attention by every man that came in and out of my life like my dad did.

I cringe whenever I hear single moms who say they accept gifts on Father’s Day.  Are you freaken “Crazy?”  I think it’s very selfish and sending the wrong message to your kid.  You’re telling them that you are mommy and daddy.  You’re leaving no opportunity for your child to reconnect with their father if it were to happen. Why should any father attempt to reconnect with their child if their child’s mother is celebrating Father’s Day?  It’s nothing but trouble and drama leaving that father to feel intimidated to stop by and see their kid.  The it’s not a big deal celebration convinces those same fathers that we are manipulating their child to believe that they don’t need them.  Do I need to say anymore?

I think moms should let Father’s Day be just for fathers.  Isn’t Mother’s Day enough?  LOL!  Who am I to tell another mother this?  I’m sure if this information was coming from a man himself then my point will be valid.  Until then, redirect those text messages to a REAL father.

Be “Crazy” for & about YOU!!

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.

  • Felicia

    This is a great article – and I disagree with Mel – no WOMAN can teach a MAN how to be a MAN. God created different genders with roles and responsibilities for a reason…

  • Nicky Jett

    I appreciate this article.  There’s just one thing which I disagree. A mother CAN teach her son to be a man.  Being a man simply means he takes responsibility for his actions.  It’s called being a stand up guy or  man of integrity.