Alternative Conception

It’s difficult to separate a process such as alternative conception, from emotion. The idea that a couple would explore all these options depending on their situation, means that their child having a biological connection to at least one of them is important.

Should they be denied the opportunity? Should they exhaust ALL alternatives BEFORE considering adopting? Should they accept their situation and hope that by some small chance they will get a child naturally?

Whatever a couple should do, one thing is certain the choice of alternative conception they decide on should be weighed very carefully. Sometimes we only see the immediate problem and not the ramifications of the solution.

Artificial insemination is expensive and holds no guarantee. A couple may get into huge debts trying these options and still not have a child at the end of it, but it does guarantee the child will share the genes of his parents. The same with Surrogacy. Often children have been made a ward of court while the legal system and parents battle out who the child ‘belongs’ to. It would stand to reason if both the egg and the sperm belong to a couple, that the ensuing child would too. However, a surrogate mother still has the right to make an application of custody due to having nurtured the child in utero. The fact that she has nourished and protected the unborn child does entitle her to rights. The courts look very unsympathetically on women who ‘charge’ for this service, even if she proves it was a stipend for loss of earnings.

Sperm donors, though screened as well as possible may well have underlying mental health issues that have no manifested themselves up to the point of donation, latent hereditary genes cannot always be traced. It’s one thing for your child to carry defective genes from its great grandmother via the parents that are raising him, it’s quite another when those genes come from a donor that may have cost quite a sum. Do we really want to pay for someone else’s defects? The same with egg donations, unless the egg comes from a family member, one really doesn’t know what they are going to get.

Several processes, each with their own pro’s and con’s the ultimate goal being the same. To have a child that carries the genes of at least one person that is raising it. A yearning for some, an absolute for others and for other still, not an issue they just want a child.







About BaseeSaka

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Having experienced most relationship issues, from dating, cohabiting and parting ways, to long distance relationship, ‘near misses’ and heartbreak; I feel that my years have been filled experiences. Experiences that I am inclined to describe as positive. You can email her at: