Dear Relationship Playbook
So there’s this guy that i just started getting to know and i told him in the beginning to never lie to me of which he hasn’t. He told me that he is talking to someone else the first day we started talking. He says that they aren’t together and that he wants to stop talking to her but she won’t let him…ok no problem because i respected his honesty out of the gate… even though i did just find out that he used to date her in 2009 but cheated on her with one of her friends but they broke up. We talk everyday, see one another, and hang out etc. no funny business because i don’t play that out of the gate all he’s gotten is a hug and a kiss lol! But what i want to know is should i continue with this or no….he’s a good guy probably the nicest I’ve come across in a while…
This sounds like a teenage situation. I almost don’t know where to start.
I’m very glad that you insist upon honesty. It is an important part of any relationship no matter how early on you insist. However, omission of facts is the same as being dishonest. He didn’t tell you that he had a relationship with this girl or how that relationship ended. Now, true enough, no one has to divulge their wrong doings of the past to you. He could be a better person as a result of that situation. But leaving out the fact that she’s not just some random girl is an omission. And it is wrong.
If you’ve just met him, you don’t know if he’s a nice guy…not yet. He may be one but if you’ve only just met him, you don’t know that to be sure. Should you continue on with this? You have to do what feels right for you. Do you want to continue to be involved with a man that has lied to you about his relationship with someone that ‘won’t let him stop talking to her’? You do know how ridiculous that is, right? I’m assuming he’s a grown man. He does not have to talk to her nor is she holding him hostage to make him do anything against his will. He’s talking to her because he wants to. If your gut tells you to leave it alone, leave it alone. If I were you, I’d handle him with the proverbial ‘long handle’. He sounds like he’s playing games.
If you just want to have fun and enjoy his company, then go ahead and do that! Enjoy yourself. But if you think for a moment that you’re feelings are going to be involved, put a halt to it, assess your feelings and determine if you want to be involved. The most important thing is that you make an informed decision.