Sex & Children: The Talk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those of you who have children, have you spoken to them about sex? How old were they when you told them?  For those that haven’t spoken to your kids yet, why not?  (If you don’t have children, please feel free to weigh in.)

Children should be told about sex as soon as they start speaking.  There are age appropriate ways to talk to them.  They understand far more than we give them credit for.  What you say to them will stick with them as long as you continue to speak to them as they get older.  Be proactive and not reactive in raising your child.  What you don’t tell them, someone else (more than likely an uninformed child) will.

Do you teach your children the clinical names for their reproductive organs? Why or why not?

We should all teach our children the clinical names for their reproductive organs.  There is no such thing as a “cute” or “funny” name for a vagina or a penis.  It is wrong to mislead children because of our own discomforts.  And yes, more times than not, parents don’t teach their children the proper name or way of a thing simply because they are uncomfortable themselves.  Dick is a curse word in my house.  I couldn’t dream of teaching my child to call his penis such a name.  I can barely say the word now and I’m grown!  If our children already know the proper way to call something, why would we go back and tell them to call it something different?  Discomfort.  Plain and simple.  It’s time to get past your own discomfort and empower your children.  They deserve that.  They should not have to suffer because of your shame or whatever it is that you’re dealing with.  Equip them properly now before someone else does the job for you in the wrong way.

I implore each of us to do right by our children and arm them with the proper knowledge that they will need to navigate this world where children are having babies younger and younger and be molested and raped younger and younger.  Give them what they deserve.  Give them the truth.

What is the right age to tell your children the proper names for their anatomy and more importantly to tell them what sex is and how babies are born? Why did you choose the age that you’ve chosen?

Watch this… VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!  PENIS PENIS PENIS!  See?  It didn’t hurt.  That’s not vulgar.  That’s not crass.  That’s not nasty.  That is what it is.  Those are the proper names for our genitalia.  Our children need to know ALL of it.  Vulva, mons, uterus, urethra, scrotum, clitoris.  They need to know it all and they need to know it as soon as they start speaking.  It needs to be spoken and it needs to be spoken soon and continuously over the years of their lives.  By the time a child is 8 years old, they could have been molested or raped.  By the time they are 10, a girl could be pregnant.  By the time a boy is 12 or 13, he could be a father.  Why is anyone waiting that long to talk to a child about sex?  If you are not comfortable with talking to your children, get over it or ask someone that you can trust and that is a close relative to talk to your child but don’t leave them in the dark until you are comfortable.  Your comfort could come too late.  Further, if you’re not comfortable talking to a baby about sex, then you surely are going to be LESS comfortable talking to a teenager about it.

Again and this can’t be said enough: I implore each of us to do right by our children and arm them with the proper knowledge that they will need to navigate this world where children are having babies younger and younger and be molested and raped younger and younger.  Give them what they deserve.  Give them the truth.

About Angel Monique

Angel Monique has written 59 post in this blog.

Angel Mo has been happily married for over 10 years and is the mother of 5 wonderful children. She loves seeing others happily in love, whether it is with a significant other or with oneself. She believes that love, understanding and acceptance of your own person is the foundation of a lasting relationship. You can email her at angelmo@relationshipplaybook.com