Perception vs. Reality

By Nick Campbell:

“Perception is reality” It’s one of the oldest cliche’s in the book. It’s extremely debatable because it typically doesn’t account or leave much room for facts. You could meet someone and have a certain perception of them, but is that who they are? Consider the woman you may know that dresses sexy and gives off a confident vibe about her. But deep down under they are extremely shy and introverted. Or a guy who dresses really sharp, has the appearance of an upstanding gentlemen in every way. But the reality of it is he could be a domestic abuser and have a drug problem. How would you know? By the perception? The mind wants to believe what the eyes can see and the ears can hear. I get that, but is it accurate? Are you getting the real deal? People put on fronts all the time and put on their best face. They will tell you what you want to hear to get what it is they want. I get that too! So how would you go about separating perception versus reality? ┬áHave a look at the discussion we had below, leave your thoughts about it if you feel differently.

When you meet someone, would you say it’s fair to act on your perception of that person? Or do you feel facts should be the decider?

So you meet a new guy/gal that catches your eye, but in the dating game that sometimes can be like a game of Joust, posturing, game, lies, and perception can make things cloudy when you’re trying to decipher what a person is giving you. So what should you do when faced with the situation of your perception clashing with reality. Perception can sometimes be mistaken has a “vibe” or gut feeling. You should never ignore your intuition, but there is a difference between getting a bad vibe for a real reason, and you merely letting your perception or “stereotype” get in the way.

 

They say “ignorance is bliss” so when it comes to a persons past what are some things you should know? And what are some things you shouldn’t know?

If there is one constant I’ve heard about the most when it comes to dating: It’s keeping it real, or keeping it 100. Everyone rants and raves about people not being honest or even candid enough. However, what happens if someone does? Will your perception change? Will they all of the sudden become not suitable by opening up to you? We make a lot of choices in life, one of them is whether we’d rather have a pretty lie or the ugly truth. It’s all up to you and whatever makes you comfortable, as I can’t say there is a wrong or right answer to that. A good point “Renz” had: “people share what they want you to know. so even if somebody is telling you the “truth”.. they will still be filtering so take everything they tell you with a grain of salt. cos a man can tell you he dealt with his ex and they dont get along blah blah blah.. yet he might still meet her up in parties and whatnot and hang out with her when you arent around so a grain of salt!

 

When it comes to perception, how do first impressions play with you? If a person totally bombed on the first date, are you forgiving enough for a 2nd chance?

Now we’ve all had a nightmare date in our lifetime right? I’m sure you might’ve had an obnoxious guy who got drunk and started showing his ass and embarrassed the hell out of you. Or the woman who wouldn’t stop texting her friends and looking in her pocket mirror paying you no never mind. Back to perception though, what if the reality of it was the guy was nervous, that he drank too much and in attempt to calm his nerves, it backfires? Or what if the woman was really insecure about a zit she just knew had disappeared, but suddenly reappeared? Now she’s a nervous wreck about the guy seeing it. Basically, we all bomb a date at some point. It’s more than normal, but are you forgiving? That could be your soulmate who just had a bad night. You saw the movie Hitch….

 

If your in blissful ignorance about a person, your relationship will be only as fragile as the secret waiting to break it. Do you agree or disagree? What say you?

Some people can’t handle the truth about a person, this can be good or bad depending on the situation. It reminds me of someone I dated who cheated on me and actually got with the guy she cheated with. She even gave me some farewell sex. I was of course miffed about it, but then I became intrigued by how fragile their relationship now was. He probably beamed and thought he had this “great” girl. Little does he know the circumstances behind him having her. That secret gets dirtier when you factor in what she did the night before. Imagine having no clue your relationship could crack at any given time. Or is better not to know that? Ignorance is bliss indeed for this man, and this is why you should consider whether being in blissful ignorance is the best way to be. Food for thought…

Until next time TRP!

~Nic

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!