Falling For a Friend

This is a kind of fairy-tale and a crazy story all at once.

I have been friends with somebody who I met through a social networking site over 7 years ago. In the first 2 years of us knowing each other, we would talk on the phone on a very regular basis. It was always friendly but long chats. He introduced his friends and family to me and would encourage them to talk to me as well. However, I considered him as a friend…a very good friend. And yet…we have never met.

My marriage is ending. I am actually going through a divorce. I hadn’t heard from my male friend for around 6 months, but I guess he saw my profile which states that I have separated. And now my good friend has been sending me messages and wanting to reconnect again. I was so glad to hear from him.

He told me that 5 years ago (before I married) he dropped a hint to tell me that he likes me as more than a friend. He is a very respectable guy (who never spoke sexually with me) so, if he hinted that he liked me, I didn’t realize it because I seriously felt he only wanted to be friends. He continued to tell me that even though it took 2 years to give me a sign that he liked me, he has liked me for the whole 7 years of us knowing each other.

I asked him why didn’t he just tell me how he felt back then.. it was because he assumed that my not getting his ‘hint’ meant that I did not feel the same way as him, and so he continued being a good friend. But now that he sees I’m as good as single again, he had to tell me how he has felt all this time, just incase I ever felt the same.

Why am I telling you this? because I’m scared. Truth be known, I have liked him for as long as he has liked me, but our conversations were so platonic and wonderful, I didn’t want to ruin it. But, now we know how we feel about each other, my fear is: when we meet, what if he doesn’t like me? What if I have certain ‘ways’ that he doesn’t like? It could ruin everything. It’s so weird to feel this way about a guy who I’ve never met, yet someone I’ve known for so long.

What would be the best “first date” in a situation like this? If he lives far enough for him to need to stay the night and if the chemistry is right, would it be so wrong to share a room with someone you’ve known for so many years, on your first date?

Finally, what do your readers feel about 2 people who have considered each other as friends for so long, who have never met, but have now confessed they would like to take it to another level?

Basee’s thoughts

If he’s waited 7yrs he’ll wait a little longer.  You need to get yourself right. You don’t

walk away from a 7yr marriage without a few emotional bruises; you already doubt your attractiveness.

You haven’t spoken to him for 6mths and now a familiar connection is there which is comforting. Deal with you first, when you look in the mirror and can honestly say to yourself ‘girl you are just too fine, watch out world here I come’ THEN you can share all your glory with someone else.

You know how he feels about you, so I can’t see any reason why you can’t tell him that you have some rebuilding to do on yourself and need some time to make sure you are not reacting to the thought that someone wants you.

Friends to lovers works sometimes so I’m not saying don’t give it a go, just pace yourself. If you like him that much, you’ll still like him in a few weeks/months. If you meet up, don’t have sex with him! Enjoy his company, by all means, but to sleep with him at this point is only going to cloud your thought processes and if it doesn’t turn out how you’d like, you’d have two relationships in the trash and probably feel like there is something wrong with you.



Over to you, readers, what do you think she should do?




About BaseeSaka

has written 156 post in this blog.

Having experienced most relationship issues, from dating, cohabiting and parting ways, to long distance relationship, ‘near misses’ and heartbreak; I feel that my years have been filled experiences. Experiences that I am inclined to describe as positive. You can email her at: basee@relationshipplaybook.com