What’s On His Mind?

I have been friends with a guy that is part of a social group for a while now. We he first joined the group, he had asked the head of the group if I was single. I noticed him at the game and thought he was attractive. Me and the guy started clicking alot. Our personalities are the same and we both believe in mostly the same things. He is just as outgoing as I am and very socialable.
After one of the games, I asked him for his phone number. After spending some time together and doing a little checking, I got really excited because I knew the feelings were mutual. I texted him one night and asked him out on a date. Me and the guy talked on the phone but didnt answer my date question until about 3 days later. He texted me that if he wasn’t dating someone else he would go out with me. I was ok with it by that time because i already knew. (someone had already told me)
However, lately we been spending quite a bit of time together. No moves were made. After that, this past weekend, he met up with me and my friend at the Bingo Hall and played with us. This Sunday, we joined the group for an event. I told him that was cooking and he came over to have lunch. We rode to the event together and sat together during the show. He got me a snow cone for making him lunch. He’s just a nice guy.
After we got to my house he asked what we were doing together next week and asked if I wanted to go to the casino with him next Friday. He still calls me “homie” but I catch him looking at me sometimes. I think maybe its just him being a guy, and maybe a little bit of him liking me.
I’m just going with the flow of things but I often wonder…….if he has a girl then why is he spending much of his weekends with me lately? And when we have group events, most people invite their S/O to come but he always signs up alone??? I would think that if he was serious enough to say he was dating someone, why wouldnt he bring her to events?? Why not ask her to go to the Casino with him instead of me??
He is a very social kinda guy but he doesn’t contact anyone else outside the group this much besides me. And definitely doesn’t hang with anyone on the sidebar but me. His weekends usually consist of hanging with family on Saturday nights, Bingo/Casino Friday nights and Sunday is the social group and church. He’s very honest about things the majority of the time. When does he have time for this girl? Maybe during the week…..I guess.
I’m not going to jump my boundaries unless he makes a move. I dont know…..maybe I should just continue with “going with the flow” instead on trying to figure things out.
What do you gather from this???
Basee’s Response
A couple of things come to mind.
1. It was said that he had just started talking to someone – This doesn’t equate to a relationship. It just means that two people are exploring each other. By introducing a second woman into the equation, this man wouldn’t be giving her a fair shot. It may be that what he’s gotten to know about her isn’t keeping his interest. So now he’s throwing his net a little wider. He has told you what the situation is so that there is no misconception.
2. His interaction with the other woman is only your concern if you want more than you have with him. If you are enjoying the male platonic companionship with no structure then there’s nothing to concern yourself with, as far as him and the other woman is concerned. So you need to decide what it is you want and then discuss it with him. If he’s not in a position to get on board with you, I think he’ll let you know.
3. Try not to over analyse things. If you are really curious about him and this other woman, ask him! If you are unsure what the nature of the friendship, you are developing, is ask him!  It is my experience both first and secondhand that being transparent with your thoughts in any type of relationship, family, platonic, professional, romantic etc., is much more beneficial than making assessments and evaluations based off observation.


About BaseeSaka

has written 156 post in this blog.

Having experienced most relationship issues, from dating, cohabiting and parting ways, to long distance relationship, ‘near misses’ and heartbreak; I feel that my years have been filled experiences. Experiences that I am inclined to describe as positive. You can email her at: basee@relationshipplaybook.com