A common misconception about ‘letting go’ is what you are actually letting go of! We often look at ending a relationship, allowing children to grow up, cutting loose certain habits etc. as what it is we are ‘letting go’. However, what we are really letting go of, are the emotions and ideas that relate to a person or thing.
By making a distinction between the two concepts, we are in a better position to really ‘let go’.
It really is okay to still have feelings for a person. It really is okay to worry about an son or daughter going away to college. It really is okay to be angry at someone who has betrayed your trust, disrespected you or hurt you in anyway. It really is okay!
What’s NOT okay, is allowing those feelings to stop you from moving forward. It’s not okay to caution (biblical term) yourself to the point that you actually believe you can’t move on.
Once you accept your feelings, acknowledge them for what they are, which is a reflection of a situation, you can start to rebuild and move forward. When you accept that your relationship is over, accept that there is no positive future with that particular person, you can enjoy the memories of the past knowing that it happened, and it ended. Then you can look forward to the next chapter in your life. So long as you continue to bask in the pain, disappointment, anger etc. You wont be able to continue your personal journey through life.
So, ask yourself, what do I need to let go of? is it fear of the unknown future? is it fear of no longer being needed, is fear that if you allow yourself to move on you are going to be hurt again? Once you have identified that, what are you going to do about it? Try a distraction, busy yourself, if your children have left home, put that time and energy into a community program, if your relationship has ended, spend time improving yourself in some way, health, education, presentation, honing a skill etc. As your self worth raises so will your resolve to accept that any event in life can be viewed as a learning tool. When you begin to feel at peace with yourself, when you start to feel free, then you will know that you have LET GO!