Sex & Emotions

By Nick Campbell:

Sex and emotions, they go hand in hand right? Well, not necessarily. Consider that so many people out there are engaged in the infamous status of FWB (Friends with benefits) and whenever you’re in a FWB situation, there is a big chance emotions will get mixed up. Is there a way to avoid that? Of course there is no manual, or set way to go about it. But we’ve all experienced situations where things were not what they seemed. Today, we discussed a variety of things that deal with how sex and emotions can clash. Everything from who cares the least, cuddling, money, and manners. It’s all relative….. They even seem to connect in the oddest ways sometimes, maybe you can relate. The conversation was interesting, and what we discussed is below…

Reason #1 Sex & Emotions don’t always mix: When it comes to F— buddies the sex doesn’t last forever, someone always catches feelings. And the person who cares the least controls the relationship.

Now keeping in mind that couples should never be jockeying for control of each other, and they should always be seeking to stay connected. It’s not about control in a literal sense. But imaging the scenario of the person trying to court and pursue a person who doesn’t feel the same. Surely, you can imagine the person who doesn’t feel the same is in a position to steer where things are going. When you add sex to the mix, this can get complicated. It has the potential to be quite explosive if not handled right. As “Nicole” put it: “Someone always catches feelings , been there done that”

Reason#2 Sex & Emotions don’t always mix: Cupcaking–if you’re trying to keep things separate, there’s no easier way to confuse things by holding them in bed. Women feel safe and secure, men might think it’s more than what it is

It is well known that cuddling is one of the most common forms of confusion…. wait… how is that? Well, if you are in a casual sex relationship and you’ve picked up a habit of cupcaking, here lies the problem. FWB don’t cuddle right? What’s wrong with it? Well, women can get a false sense of security and comfort, while men can get a false sense that they have a green light when they may not. Just another example of sex and emotions get mixed up.

Reason#3 Sex & Emotions don’t always mix: Ladies, if your head game is superior apply it “sparingly”… If you know in your mind it’s not going anywhere, why on earth would you give him the kryptonite? And you’ll be wondering why you’re on a real date and your phone is blowing up and he’s parked out front when you get back. uh oh…..

Looking for a stalker? Well, here’s a easy way to get one. Giving bomb oral sex to a man you’re not really feeling is a recipe for disaster! Nuff said..

Reason#4 Sex & Emotions don’t always mix: Fellas, if your tricking off you’re setting the tone for expectations. Don’t make it more than what it is, you may be getting the goods because of it, but even gold diggers settle down…. Ask your favorite NBA player….. You can be laying the pipe but if your money gets funny, you will no longer taste the honey

Many men benefit from “providing” for a woman, they get the impression they are the main man in the picture. It’s not to say all women are gold diggers, but for those who give affection because a man buys her things, sometimes the shoe fits. But even if that’s the case that may not last very long. Especially if you come upon hard times….

Reason#5 Sex & Emotion don’t always mix: “Call before you come” there is nothing more embarrassing then the random knock on the door while on your on a real date. This is where the conflict of sex/emotions hits the wall. If this has happened, someone, one of you has caught feelings more than the other. What would you do/say?

Without clear communication about sex and emotions this can be a end result. One person thinking its all good, the other its not. Can you imagine how mortified you’d be to get a knock at the door from the FWB while you’re on a date? What would you say? Do you confess? End it there? Ahh the confusion of sex and emotions…..

Until next time TRP!–Nic

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!