A Father’s Love is the true story of a father’s battle to be a part of his son’s life. You can read access all of the chapters in the Table of Contents.
So here it is the summer of 2005, Isaiah is 2, and I can finally be his daddy.
The five days in June that I had him alone while Camille was gone were great, but a little challenging. I wasn’t left with any instructions, so I had to learn his habits, but we didn’t have any major issues. He had never been away from Camille overnight and of course he missed him mom. As difficult as it was, I dug out an old picture of her (I couldn’t throw them away and deny him of those pics when he got older) and let him hold it every day. He didn’t start asking for her until the last day, which was good and relieving. I don’t know how I would’ve taken it if he cried and asked for her daily, even though I’m sure it would’ve been normal.
After that week, things started to become pretty good… relatively speaking.
I saw Isaiah every weekend, although it wasn’t a simple, “I’ll show up at this time every week” thing. I called to talk to Isaiah every night and every Tuesday I’d ask if I could get him that weekend. Her response was always a flat, “We’ll see.” And usually on Thursdays she’d say, “I’ll allow you to see him this weekend. What time will you pick him up and drop him off?”
I just bit my tongue and remembered the big picture… establish a consistent pattern. What I found out later is the reason I saw him so much that summer was because she had a boyfriend. Although Camille did me wrong, I’d never questioned the choices she made regarding Isaiah, except for keeping me away from him. She didn’t see the guy as anything serious so she wouldn’t have him around Isaiah. I was her way to get some weekend ass from him without worrying about a baby sitter.
A few times she wanted to do some shopping for “Isaiah” so the 3 of us went shopping. I focused all of my attention and bought everything for Isaiah while she shopped for herself. It was funny how she always “just so happened” to come up short at the register. But I didn’t care… I was with my baby, so if I had to trick a little then so be it. During this time Isaiah made it known he wanted to be with me. Whenever I came to pick him up he’d run to me and jump in my arms and when I dropped him off, he’d be happy until he realized I wasn’t coming with him. He’d stop walking towards Camille and would say “Come on daddy” and start crying.
Broke me down every time.
Even now, when it’s time to go, I’ll ask him if he wants to see his mommy, he says yes, and as he walks down the stairs he keeps looking back at me. Last month I walked down the stairs with him because I was leaving and he thought I was going with him. When he got in her car and I got in mine. He started crying, so what did I do. I cried. And what did Camille do? She looked at me with a smirk on her face. I wanted to follow her home and stomp her f*cking head into the ground.
But oh well… whatever doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger or some BS, right?
One night after shopping she came over and didn’t want to leave right away. We gave Isaiah a bath together and he was in heaven. It was the first time he had his two favorite people focused completely on him. He just kept turning his head, going back and forth between the two of us, laughing and playing. It took him awhile to settle down that night. Seeing Isaiah like that got me all happy and bubbly inside.
I got caught up in the whole family thing and lost my damn mind…