The Insecurity Issue

When we think of “insecurity” the automatic image that comes to mind is what? Is it the image of a jealous lover? Or a nagging partner complaining about things that don’t exist? It could be a little of both and even more. But it appears this term is thrown out by partners at the first sign of a question, or more frankly when they are caught up in their own BS. So today we took a look at insecurity to look for some clarity and understanding about what it means to be insecure and how we can be more secure in our relationships. Below are the topics we discussed.

1st Topic: How do you define insecurity? It’s sometimes a term thrown around loosely by people who are up to no good. But why is that?

One of our fans Bev wrote: see here- “A lot of SELF-DOUBT and very LITTLE self-confidence.
You are, as an individual, what’s behind the term…it all starts & ends with you.”

2nd Topic: Have you ever been accused of being insecure because you noticed something shady about a partner? When this “diversion” is used, how would you cut thru the noise to get to the truth? Or would you just walk away?

See what Rick wrote here: “I have walked away from an otherwise fulfilling relationship because I could not (I tried) deal with insecurities that were not created by me and weren’t a result of anything that I did or wasn’t doing. I even “warned” her that her insecurities were going to be the “death” of our relationship if WE didn’t find a way to resolve them. It didn’t happen so I had to walk away! I’m not sure if I am right about this…but I did tell her once she finds a great enough incentive then she will deal with her insecurities.”

3rd Topic: Some think its not their job to make their S/O “secure” in the relationship. Do you agree? Does a partner have any duty to assure the other?

A TRP Fan C Dwayne wrote:- “My girl and I had this conversation recently. I think people should make every effort to do whatever is necessary to make their partner as comfortable as possible.”

4th Topic: The “to friend or not friend” your S/O on FB issue has been debated before. But what are your thoughts about a partner who is “stealth” about their FB/Twitter? Would it cause an insecurity? How would you handle it?

A fan Giesel wrote in:- “I think…like anything else there are men/women that are doing Dirt and want to hide it so they use all types of excuses to keep you off of their online sites…Then there are the men/women that have dealt with grief in the past over every post/comment their friends leave so they don’t want to deal with the BS from their s/o…If you have a good man/woman I think you already know what’s up…If there are doubts, their online sites will not be the only indicators of shadiness…”

5th Topic: Could you date someone that’s “addicted” to FB/twitter?  (TRP doesn’t count!!) Could you feel comfortable knowing they are?

Tianna wrote in:- “If they can multiTASK I SEE no Problem… I. Believe a majority of us have some form of addiction/dependacy on these new age websites so more often than not there’s probably and addiction on both ends… Now if it happens to interfere with the relationship on a level of concern then the problem is bigger than the sites themselves… maybe its YOU & NOT THEM. LOL”

So in conclusion: Insecurity affects us all in different ways. The key is to find ways to reduce it as much as possible. If we care about who we’re dealing with, then there shouldn’t be a time where they feel uncomfortable or insecure. We have the ability to control that and of course we have an obligation to make sure we’re secure in ourselves as to not be superficially insecure. AKA worrying ourselves over dumb shit. Until next time TRP! -Nic

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!