There has been a lot of conversation over the months about why men and women that desire to be in relationships still find themselves single. We often dwell on women and why they are single. We talk about what’s wrong with them or what they can improve on to get the man of their dreams. We don’t often talk about the men that are single but say that they want to be in fulfilling relationships. With the ratio of women to men in this world, should these men have a problem finding a good woman? What of the man that says that he’s been looking for a long time but just hasn’t found the right woman yet? Is it truly the lack of good women?
What’s the reason that you feel men can’t find a woman to settle down with if that’s his desire?
There was one answer that stood out the most to me. It was given by Rick Harris. Rick often jokes around but when he speaks from the heart, it’s truly something worth hearing as he offers sound and reasonable solutions and has no problem owning his own stuff, admitting to it and then doing the work to fix it. Here’s what he said:
“I was curious to see what direction this thing was going to go before I answered the questions. First of all, I will say that I consider myself one of the poster katz for this topic…I desire a woman that we (B and I) can settle down withand I must admit that It’s my “fault” that I am single. I put fault in quotations because what I truly feel is that it’s because of “ME” that I’m single. Let me just say that there are about two or three things that were posted in this thread that have been reasons why I have remained single…Chasing panties, Superficial, Selfishness, and not recognizing quality women when I had them. With all that said, I feel as though I am currently single because I have a TRUE sense of what is important to me in a relationship and I have enough prespective and experience to know it when I see it and enough patience and faith to wait on it!”
Exercise Time: “Let That Be The Reason”
Has a guy ever told you the reason he’s single but because you know him it didn’t really add up but you didn’t call him out? What are some of the reasons they gave? Why did you think it wasn’t true?
Ex: “I’m single because all these women want a thug, I’m so nice, loving, and considerate that women pass me by.”
Your response: Okay. Let that be the reason…
I’m not even about to pull one answer out of what turned into complete chaos. The point of this exercise was for us all to see how trivial some of our reasons are as to why we’re alone yet saying that we want a relationship. That just doesn’t add up. It’s as simple as pulling the card of the person that is lying to you and holding up the mirror of accountability for them to gaze into… if they can. It was obvious from the way that the thread ended that some folks aren’t quite ready for that mirror.
What is your take on younger men that desire older women? Are some of these men looking for sugar mama’s and intellectualizing it under the guise of wanting a woman that has her life together but when she sees the game and passes on him, he says that she really didn’t have it together or was too independent?
Not every man is the same. Some will love a woman no matter how old she is and others will take advantage of what he believes a woman can do for him.
Fan quote: “A lot of women say y’all can meet a dude. Don’t wait too long wasting 2, 3 and 5 years working on you. Your expiration date hits, looks fade & we men looking to choose are looking at fresher product.”
Do you believe that women have an expiration date on their beauty? Do men have the option of choosing a younger woman or does he remain single because the choice of women his age is limited?
Should a man have as hard of a time finding a woman to love as women do? Is it fair or unfair to say that since a man has more options, his search shouldn’t be as hard or as long? Why or why not?
It’s apparent that there is a long way to go on both sides of the gender line. Today I wanted us to take a look at men who want a relationship but can’t seem to find one. It’s apparent that their reasons are no different than women’s reasons. Sure there were some ruffled feathers but I do hope that each of you took something away from this topic. We all need to better ourselves, love ourselves and each other. When we get to the point that we can do that, there won’t be a question of being single. Those that want simply will.