You Won’t See Me Tonight

Dear TRP,
I need help with a new relationship that I think is about to start I am just not too sure please read and let me know what you think. I meet this guy on March 5th: Am not good at this I’m girly but this whole girlfriend stuff I don’t know…he texted me all day yesterday saying: Wow a brother just cant catch a break with you.
Me: whatcha mean babe.
Him:Cant get a call , text , nuttin.
Me: I can say the same bout u
Him: No you cant
Him: So that’s how u treat your men
Me: YES, that’s how I keep them in line
Him:lol, so we need a little more of me in your face
Me: Yes now u catchin on.
Him:Let a brother move up a notch
Me: Well you need to show me you wanna be move up
Him: So next time I can get a nice little kiss from u
Him: Want you come give me one of those on your way home
So I get over there …this place was bomb ass hell, he got a movie theater , inside basketball courts, tennis , golf , bowling , pool , hot tubs, gas bbq pit. So after he took me on the tour we went inside to watch the game , he’s like you know I have a roommate and it’s a girl….(WTF I say) so I meet her (she’s pretty). So we start watching the game and he’s like I got that for u ( a cocktail ) …cool we chillin , he is so dam romantic , he kept holding and rubbing on my hands , neck and stuff in a nice gentle way. So after the game he walked me to the car and we were like see aint this better then phone calls he said YES, I am the one playing games. Kissed me goodnite. NOW WHAT? What DOES ALL that mean ? Is he my boo now? I hate this stuff ! He’s a cancer and I am a Capricorn . I think I like him. I just don’t wanna mess things up by moving to fast.
Please help.
Thank you.
Nic’s Thoughts…
From reading the above exchange I would say he was justified in “challenging” you to meet him halfway. I understand the cardinal rule of never making yourself too available to a man and potential mate. But sometimes that rule gets abused, and it can end up having the opposite effect: Alone
But its clear you do have an interest in him and you decided to make a move to the center and meet him halfway. That’s a great step in building something and you’ve made it past where so many get stuck. Many people who date do that same song and dance, and in the process of “keeping them in line” they take good people for granted. Men don’t mind pursuing, we don’t mind courting, but just like you we don’t like to waste time either.
So if I’m hearing you right, you’re about 3 months into it and you came to his place for the first time. You sound surprised that he has a female roommate. (That kind of info should have been revealed pretty early) You sound impressed with his dwellings, but I wouldn’t sweat that too much. Unless those things you described about his place are “must haves” in a potential mate. If that’s the case I can’t advise you on your preferences in men, however just keep in mind “all that glitters ain’t gold” Either way I’d recommend getting some clarification on the female roommate right away. If he’s sharing this “extravagant” home with her, I’d be a little curious about the circumstances of who the person is and what the nature of their relationship is.
With all that aside, it sounds as if the person is showing you an interest. From what you said he sounds like he displayed manners and courtesy during your time there. The touchy feely part seems a bit much for a first date. But hey if you were comfortable with it than “do you”. The ball is in your court, he made his move and where it goes from here will be up to the two of you. But does that mean he’s your “boo” now? NO. Its obvious there has been a lot of distance between the two of you, and your communication is barely getting off the ground. So if you have a mutual interest in each other go for it, but that was just one night, one date. You’re a Capricorn which means you’re an earth sign and match well with other earth signs. Cancer’s are more of a water sign, but they aren’t exactly ‘incompatible” with you either so I wouldn’t worry about that too much. (shy away from Aries and Libra’s though)
So if you’re interested the first thing you need to do is get rid of the “I Think”, it’s going to be hard to build anything if you’re unsure about how you feel. I’d definitely confirm what’s going on with the female roommate, listen to your gut if something doesn’t fit or doesn’t sound right. That’s not a typical situation. If you feel comfortable moving forward and don’t want to ruin things by moving too fast, then try some simple yet effective moves: At this point it might be good to let him know you are interested in him. Based on the lack of communication you had before he may need to be reassured. Slow it down by talking to each other and build a friendship with each other. The first date you had sounded like it went well, take that and build off that. You never know, lightning could strike….
Best of Luck…..

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!