Blind Love

Dear TRP,
February 2010, like a day or couple days after Valentine’s Day I had made it official with this guy that I met from Facebook from another forum. He is two years older than me. I’m guessing he’s been looking at me and how interact with people because he sent me a friend request shortly thereafter. Now as I’m making my daily rounds on my acquaintances page, I come across his status, and its a controversial one about women. So I chimes in, gives my two-cent and pretty much throughout, he flirted with me. Fast forward, we talk via inbox for a minute getting all the ramifications and thangs out the way, and he asks he can he call me, I say you either call me within 5mins or wait til tomorrow because I had school the next day.
(Did I do that right?) From then on, we kick it kinda tough, and being that I’m partially disabled in school, and him being btwn jobs (he’s a truck driver). Finally he lands a new job, and they give a route that’s near me. He’s been here twice. We talk on the phone, text and FB all the time. Here’s the kicker: IDK what’s going through his mind but ever March til now, its like he’s been accusing me of trying to holla at other men via facebook (in March on another forum) and that ousted in a very HEATED argument, and now a day or two ago he’s gotten a new job w/a new company that’s 1hr and some change away, he has orientation. I tried to make it to where he’s at (he had a layover in my city) He had some good news to tell me the next day that he got from one of the new guys, and I guess I didn’t respond the way he would’ve wanted me too because I told him “Good job baby- but to be sure ask the ppl tomorrow if that’s true of not”.
But the fact of the matter is- I AM ESTATIC that is working near me. I really, really am but he’s just so hell bent that I’ve changed my mind about him coming up here and moving here with me. What I want to know is did I handle that right or wrong? Help me out please because I LOVE THIS MAN TO PIECES!!!
Nic’s Thoughts:
If you were referring to the part where you asked him to call in 5 minutes or wait until the next day, then yes I’d say that’s just fine. We all have busy schedules and it’s ok to wait until you have time to talk. The rest of it though is subjective….. We live in amazing times where social sites like Facebook/Myspace/Twitter ETC can hook you up and break you up just as easily. From how it sounds, the guy is feeling a little insecure. With good reason, because the way you get someone is the same way you could lose someone. Those insecurities that are causing him to accuse of you flirting with other men are a reflection of that.
A good way to resolve that problem is to take your relationship “offline” and work on building a friendship and trust.
Once you do that, social networking won’t be a pressing issue. Technology has given us numerous ways to communicate, but is that helping or hurting your relationship? If technology is filling your communication, by the time you actually come face to face with each other you’ve got nothing to discuss.
I think it’s great that you’ve put in effort to see each other with him being closer to you and all. But I would slow down on you moving him in with you. That is very early in the relationship; especially a Facebook originated one, to be moving in. If you love him “to pieces” that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean you cant take your time and let things progress more gradual. There is so much for you guys to learn about each other first. With him starting a new career, it’s hard to say where that may lead to.
Some positive ways you can turn these worries around: 1. Let him know that you’re excited about him being closer to you! This is an opportunity to start building your relationship “Offline” 2. Address the Facebook static asap. Social networking can be very “perception sensitive”. So keep that in mind as you both sit down and “talk” about “how”, and “IF” you want your relationship to be public on Facebook. It can save you a lot of drama down the road. I hope the two of you can eliminate the static and clear the air!
Best of luck….
Nicholas Campbell

About Nick Campbell

Nick Campbell has written 163 post in this blog.

A modern day gentleman who loves to explore all aspects of relationships and discuss problems this new generation faces in love. Born and raised in the Bay Area, well traveled and cultured. Single Dad, tech connoisseur and news junkie. Drop a line if there is something you'd like discussed!