By: Will Wavvy
Dear Relationship Playbook
ok so i have an issue that has been bothering me for years now. im a girl and i had my first experience with a girl and fell in love. i was very consistant with telling her that i could not be with a girl forever and she seemed to agree. i still was talking and having sex with guys. we were not in a relationship. her feelings started to change and mine didnt so we split up and decided to just be friend. four years later i am with the guy of my dreams and i now have a child. everytime i speak to my ex she is really mean even though i am always there for her. she has moved on too and says that she is happy with our friendship but i am getting so tired of being mistreated (i have told her this). we were friends befor we got together (i didnt even know she liked girls and it went on like this for years) and i want to be friends now too because she doesnt have many true friends. am i wrong to end our friendship? what do you get from this? help!!!
OK, I’m confused. You said you weren’t in a relationship, yet you’re referring to her as your “ex”? It sounds like there was more to it, then what you’re telling us now. But either way, my thoughts are the same.
There is a big difference between ending a relationship physically, and ending it emotionally. Just because you physically say “it’s over” doesn’t mean you nor the other person has ended their emotional attachment. Furthermore, what may take one person a few days or weeks to get over, can take another person a few months or years – especially if you’re still talking, sharing feelings, hanging out, etc. It sounded like this situation went on for quite some time and no matter what you “tell” someone,the reality is that the longer you sleep with someone the more feelings that develop.
You exchange more than nuts when you have sex.
To answer your question, “no”, you are not wrong for choosing to end the friendship. If she was a he, would it even be a question in your mind? The rules are the same whether it’s a girl-girl or a girl-guy relationship. If you’re being mistreated, then she really isn’t your friend to begin with. It’s not your problem if she doesn’t have a lot of friends. That’s something she needs to deal with herself.
Move on, and enjoy your life with your new family.
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