A “Mean” Cheater

By: Will Wavvy

Dear Relationship Playbook

Hi…I love TRP! This is a great tool to have on Facebook. I think if this page would have been available to me a few years ago, I would have avoided a lot of mistakes I have made (or mistakes I have dated lol).

I have been cheated on and I asked over and over if he was cheating, but could never prove it. I just knew by the arguments we had and how he would treat me when he came home. Every small thing I said would just set him off. My question is–why are men so mean to the woman they are with when they cheat? Especially a woman who has never done anything wrong and just always strived to be the best woman she could be to her man? I know women can do this also, but I would like the males prospective. When you have cheated, were you mean to the person you were cheating on? Why?

My thoughts…

Thanks for the compliment, we appreciate it.

There is no specific way to answer your question. Cheating or not, there are countless reasons why someone would be “mean” and sometimes someone may not even know they’re being “mean”. That’s subject to each individual’s interpretation.

Now since you asked about me specifically, when I’ve cheated in the past, for the most part I wasn’t an asshole to her. Cheating was bad enough, why throw salt on the wound. There were times when I’d pick “fights”, simply as a diversion. She became so focused on “why did you say that to me” and avoided discussing “why did you cheat on me”.

You simply have to ask him why, and then hope he tells you the truth – if he even tells you at all. But ask yourself, what difference does it make? If you’re not with him anymore, does knowing the specific “why” change your life in any way? Do you need to know the “why” to have closure or is it just mere curiosity?

On a side note there is no such person as the “woman has never done anything wrong”. We all make mistakes. We all do wrong things. Just because you didn’t feel you didn’t do anything wrong doesn’t mean that the other person felt the same way.

Will Wavvy

You can email your relationship questions to: crunchtime@relationshipplaybook.com

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.