Different types of Pussy

By: Will Wavvy

This is going to surprise most women but men have categories for pussy.  It’s not as simple as good or bad; and believe it or not, how we categorize the sex with the woman is how we’ll categorize the pussy.  Now before you fix your mouth and say…

“My category has got to be Platinum Pussy, because I know my stuff is that good”.

Realize, most women say that BS and it’s just not true.  There are plenty of you thinking you have platinum in between your legs with it’s really just silver – or silver plated. And if you use “I’ve got no complaints” as your certification that you’ve reached platinum status, you should understand a simple truth about men and sex…

Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

If we’re humpin’ or trying to hump you then we’re going to tell you what we must to stay up in it because it’s still better than our hands and a bottle of Jergen’s.

Now I didn’t come up with these categories, but I agree with them just the same.

LAZY PUSSY- this is when there is no movement on the woman’s part except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster; faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand.

THE WENDY’S WINDOW PUSSY- this is the girl you pick up around 12:30 am, when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don’t have to beep the horn or call her from the car because she knows the deal. It is all agreed upon before she even gets in the car. Nine out of ten times, there is no talk of relationship, because that might spoil the mood.

THE CONQUERED PUSSY- this is the girl who teased you for about two or three years and finally you do get your chance and you please the pussy in a way it has never been pleased before. Now, you have this girl calling you and wondering when y’all can HOOK-UP again. There is no pussy better than THE CONQUERED PUSSY.

THE ALL-INCLUSIVE PUSSY- this is when you get all the benefits of sex. The pussy is yours for the taking. Whether it is night or day, still in her church dress type pussy. The pussy smells like roses even after sex and taste better than candy. Not only is the pussy yours whenever or wherever you want it; she gives you ALL the sexual favors you can imagine. The head is tremendous, the kind that you write your niggas in jail about and she can handle the dick when you hit from the back. To top it off, she is not scared to take it in the ass. This is in close running with THE CONQUERED PUSSY for the best pussy to ever get.

THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY- this is the pussy you met on an out of town trip.  She only keeps in touch via email and she does not want a long distance relationship. She visits only at your discretion and always comes alone but is always willing to bring a friend. She is number one when you go back to that city and only wants to have lunch to catch up on missed conversation. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY is necessary for the single, travelling man.

THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY- this is the girl you call when you need to let loose. You decide to call her when your day at work is miserable. You may even set this up before leaving work or on the way home. The only reason for this activity to take place is to get your mind off of other things. Afterwards, you might even think to yourself and say why did I just do that.  The girl who is receiving the dick usually doesn’t mind because she doesn’t get much action to begin with. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY is sometimes THE WENDY’S WINDOW PUSSY.

THE FREQUENT FLIER PUSSY- this is the girl you know is fucking around, but you just don’t care. She has lubrications that are half way used already.  She always has condom wrappers in the bathroom trash and beer in the fridge. The only reason why you keep fucking because it’s good, she’s not bad looking and there could never be a relationship. It has not been proven, but she could have fucked one of the guys you use to go to school with. The pussy is not loose, but it is not THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY. I’ll get to that later..

TIME TO GO PUSSY- this is the pussy that when the pants come off of her you can smell the nahh nahh.  Fellas if this happens it is not even worth the two bars of soap it will take to get rid of the stench left on your dick. This occurs with girls you bring home from the club, so to avoid this, take a good whiff while in the car with her or better yet invite her to take a shower with you.

THE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT PUSSY- this is the girl everyone expects you to fuck. You haven’t touch her because she either has a big mouth, lives next door or is a close friend of the family’s relative. There is also a chance that she is all three. She is cute but you know the consequences. She continues to tease you with the pussy and at any moment when the both of you are alone, she lets you know that she wants to fuck. The best thing to do is fuck her friend.

Last but not least…

THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY- this is the girl that can’t handle the dick. No matter what position you tried, she complains that it hurts. Not only is she screaming like you are murdering the woman, but she puts her hands on your hips so that you can’t get your full stroke-on. It is like fucking with half of your dick and doggy style to her is just Snoop’s first album.

Ladies, what category do you fit in?

You can email me at: willwavvy@relationshipplaybook.com

About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 322 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.

  • Basee Saka

    hee hee hee, I like that. Oh I got another one… Charity Pussy – Slightly worn but still has use.

  • http://www.relationshipplaybook.com Will Wavvy

    I could add a few more Basee…

    Chicken Pox Pussy – “everyone has had it”

    Sweet-N-Low Pussy “You think it’s sweet, but it’s really a sugar substitute”

  • Carmacita

    Interesting…

  • Basee Saka

    I think you missed a few…

    'The Layaway Pussy' the one you pay a little each week for because you know you can't afford to do what's necessary to just have it there and then.

    'Credit Card Pussy'… enjoy now cos you gonna pay for it later sucker!

    'The Borrowed Pussy'… keep meaning to get your own, but the person who owns it doesn't use it, so you borrow it, and keep using it to the point that you forget it's not yours. Then the owner want's it back and you're pissed. You've broken it in and it does the job just right… This is the one where you either end up buying from the owner or give it back and get your own!

  • Bighouseboy427

    Damn good sheeeeeeeit!