Peer Pressure

By: Basee

In this modern society we are constantly surrounded by people who insist on ‘keeping up with the Jones.  No matter that they have no idea how the Jones acquired what they have. Some people just feel if they are not on ‘par’ with their counterparts or peers etc. They just haven’t ‘arrived’. In life as well as in relationships we have seen the effects of this need to be the same or have the same or do the same as others. This mentality not only is obstructive to the natural process of evolvement but also the innate nature of adventure and exploration. If you already know the outcome where is the learning and growing? To this end, I’ve taken three quotes that I think encourages us to break away from peer pressure and blaze our own paths of achievement and success.

Those who have read me before and remember, will notice I often quote Marcus Garvey.  In looking at the question of peer pressure of adults I’m going to use three of his quotes…

1. “God and Nature first made us what we are, and then out of our own created genius we make ourselves what we want to be. Follow always that great law. Let the sky and God be our limit and Eternity our measurement’”. – People only have power over us if we give it to them. We can only be pressured if we are striving to be accepted in an alien environment. I don’t know about you, but why would I want to be accepted into an alien environment? I want to be in an environment that reflects , supports, and encourages me. Anything else should be of my own created genius. Often we look at others and measure ourselves forgetting that we are individuals and other people’s yardsticks.  We’re not meant to be “one size fits all”.

2, “Men who are in earnest are not afraid of consequences. ” – To be ‘in earnest’ means to be committed and have conviction of yourself. To have knowledge, not belief… with belief there is always an element of doubt… with knowledge… there is no room for doubt. Once you have this knowledge you will know also that you are in a position of strength and choice therefore, you are not governed by fear of consequences. This I say particularly to those who live as though they are ‘chained’, struggling to get free. The more you struggle, the tighter the chains become. Stop struggling brothers and sisters. You know your worth but you seem to have no confidence in it… preferring to take the road most trodden than blazing your own path. If you step out on faith, you will be successful.

And so to my final quote…

3. “If you have no confidence in self you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence you have won even before you have started”. I think this explains itself, however I’d take it one step further, if you have no faith/trust, you have no platform on which to build confidence.

Can you function in society without being someone else’s puppet, or picking and choosing whose puppet you will be based on what you can get out of it? An adage I was told as a youngster was… “You have to kiss ass before you can kick it” – two things struck me. First, the ultimate aim is to be able to kick ass.  Second, you have to learn the game before you can become a kick ass player. Life is about choices. Putting yourself in a position to be able to choose how you live. If you don’t have choices you are destined to be pushed around and controlled. If we take responsibility for ourselves, decide what we want for ourselves and work towards it… no one… and I repeat… NO ONE… can pull our strings.

Surround yourself with positive and creative people who can inspire and assist you to create your own opportunities so you can have choice.

People allowing you to be you and not encouraging you to be all that you can be, are not productive or progressive they just don’t get in the way.

Which I suppose is better but not a lot of help. You need to have a vision and a motivatory factor to spurn you on. People who will help you to see those things are the ones who will support you in your journey to self discovery, enlightenment, fulfilment.

I would encourage the reading and familiarity of Erik Erikson, Jean Piaget, Vygotsky and Maslow… there are others but I find these guys relatively easy to digest. They are mainly social learning and development theorists. They will give you an insight as to why we are afraid to take chances, they will give you an understanding as to how some of us have the ability to be leaders and other not. When you are done chewing over them, head over to Mr Garvey.  He is mainly a separatist that looks to for the empowerment of his own but within that he looks at how we as individuals need to be in order for that to happen. A nation is a larger scale of a community which is a larger scale of a family which is a larger scale of self.

The journey of self discovery is a complex one but as you travel through it… things become clearer and the trappings of the society you live in become less attractive so you no longer have the desire to ‘fit it’ but instead develop the desire to create your own space and environment which promotes positive livity. Being a puppet or being a puppeteer then no longer becomes an issue in your world. Once you are on this road, your connection to others becomes stronger and meaningful. No longer are they there to supplement you but rather to compliment you.

Be extremely blessed.

So, what do you think? Enquiring minds want to know!

 

About BaseeSaka

has written 156 post in this blog.

Having experienced most relationship issues, from dating, cohabiting and parting ways, to long distance relationship, ‘near misses’ and heartbreak; I feel that my years have been filled experiences. Experiences that I am inclined to describe as positive. You can email her at: basee@relationshipplaybook.com

  • Yvonne Finney

    I really enjoyed this piece. Well said Basee.

  • I used to read Garvey when I was younger, I'm going to start reading him again. This is great.