Why Are You Single?

By: Will Wavvy

It amazes me how you can ask countless people a “somewhat” complex question and for the most part, get the same simple answer.  You can ask the question to the single mom with a couple of kids, struggling to make ends meet and you’ll get the same answer if you ask the single, successful “career woman” with no children.  You can ask the question to the single, divorced woman and you’ll get the same answer as the woman that has been a “serial dater” all of her life and has never been married.

The question is – “Why Are You Single”?

Now depending on her personal experiences, she may say things such as…

“All men are dogs.”

“All of the good men are either taken, gay, or don’t want to settle down.”

“Men don’t want to commit.”

“All men just want to play games and I’m tired of playing them”

Those are just a few of the many different answers you’ll get to the question, “Why are you Single”, but when you strip away all of the quoted song and movie lyrics, the excuses and justifications, the $5 words and simple truths – all of their answers are the same…

“It ain’t my fault”.

It is never you.  You were the best girlfriend the world has ever known.  You cooked, cleaned, sexed him until his dick hurt, made him feel like a man and did everything he wanted you to do and then some.  You did everything right, and yet he still messed it up.  It wasn’t enough.  Any and every man would be lucky to have a woman like you in his life.  Yet despite all of these wonderful traits you have, you’re still single.  Why?

Yes I know, “It ain’t my fault”.

Trivia question: What do ALL the men you’ve dated or been in a relationship with have in common?

No, this isn’t a trick question.  I’m serious.  “What do ALL of the men you’ve dated or been in a relationship with have in common?”

I’ll wait.  (cue the Jeopardy music)

OK, time’s up.

The answer is YOU.

They all dated you.  They all used you.  They all took advantage of the sweet, wonderful person that is you, and tossed you aside when they were done with you.  Those men don’t know each other (well, unless you believe it ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none).  They don’t belong to some secret, “We are doggish men” club, but yet they all somehow found a way to dog you out.  Funny how that works.

I’ll give a crude, but true analogy.

Dog poopingWhy do you think dogs take the time to sniff around for a few minutes to find the right spot to shit on? It doesn’t matter how bad they have to go, a dog will never just pop a squat, why? Because, dogs only shit where they’re comfortable.  To go a little further, why do you think dogs shit where they can smell that other dogs have already shitted there? Because, it’s already been marked as a safe place to shit on.

If all you attract is “doggish” men, then stop being a toilet.  It’s pretty simple.

Fellas please don’t think you’re any different.  When asked, “Why Are You Single”, you give the same type of answers…

“Women don’t want a good guy, they just want the bad boys.”

“If you don’t have the “three 6’s” (at least 6 feet tall, have a 6-figure income, and at least 6 inches) then women don’t won’t mess with you. “

“Women nowadays, don’t know how to let a man be a man”.

“All women are gold diggers”.

Same shit, different toilet – “It ain’t my fault”.

No, it can’t possibly be that your version of a “good man” is some weak, pacified baby, that still sucks on his mama’s tits, pisses sitting down, and has “Doormat” stamped in formula across his forehead… or after humping like a jack rabbit for two mins you want to beat  on your chest like King Kong… or after being on a date for ten minutes you found a way to tell her about all the material things you possess (or lie about them).  No it can’t be any of those reasons because…

“It ain’t my fault”.

Understand this – the only reason why you’re single is because of you and you along.

Maybe you don’t know what you want.

Maybe you talk and dress in a way that says “Come eff me.”

Maybe you don’t know how to listen.

Maybe you think you can change him/her.

Or maybe you just make dumb ass choices when it comes to partners, but no matter what the specific details are about you that’s keeping you single, the answer to the question, “Why are you Single” is the same…

“It is your fault”.

The sooner you accept and realize this, the sooner you can begin to make the necessary changes to put yourself in a position to no longer be single and have better relationships.

 

You can email me at willwavvy@relationshipplaybook.com

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About willwavvy

Will Wavvy has written 349 post in this blog.

My life is dedicated to educating and empowering others to make healthy relationship choices. I write about, and answer questions about relationships in my never-ending quest to help people stay in love long after they've fallen in love.

  • Gotcha. Something for you to consider.

  • Nope, I have never expressed interest (outside of friends and fam). But when that opportunity arrives, I just might try. I hardly ever consider men’s fear of rejection, I just focus on mine.

  • There is a difference between pursuing and just expressing interest. You can let a man know you’re interested in him, and leave it up to him to take it from there. Believe it or not, men worry about and want to avoid being rejected as well.

  • No, that is something I have never considered doing. I’m a bit too laid back and reserved. I’m sort of old school, I feel that gentlemen should pursue the ladies, first.

    Ciao